Long Live the Chia Seed

Well hello there! Fancy meeting you here. I had no idea you come here too, what a surprise! Well, as long as we're here, together, just us friends, I may as well entertain you with a little story or three. First, please allow me to get a little braggadocios. I went to the doctor last week and told her that I would like a full blood workup because I am 100% confident they will look dramatically different than last years tests. So she ordered up the works and sent me on my way. Oh, I failed to mention that as of last Monday (my appointment day) I had lost 12 pounds in a month doing the 4 hour body eating plan, woot, woot! The next day I got my results and sure enough I was correct, my cholesterol had gone down by over 50%, my liver function panel is the picture of health and my A1c which last year said I was borderline diabetic told me that I am far from the border this time. All my other labs had gone down dramatically as well so I was very happy. I did find out that I have very low iron which explains my insane hair loss. So the moral to this story is...it's good to go to the doctor, you learn something new every time. Yay me.
Now it's time for confession, I've been having a very difficult time staying away from the crunch of a kettle cooked potato chip. I think it's because there is no crunch in the foods that I eat so I really miss it. I can go without the sugar all week, but I dream about the crunchy. I tried some celery and although that was good, it's not the same thing, I need to find a way to work that out. Right now, as it's Saturday cheat day, I'm eating super crunchy Doritos Dinamita chile limon chips, yum, but too salty.  I wish everything weren't so salty but I guess I just have to choose stuff that's not salty. I've been cheating about once a week, usually on a Wednesday, and eating some kettle chips at work, I just love those things. luckily it's not really affecting my weight loss too much.
I have discovered an amazingly wonderful product, it's called Chia Seeds and I love them. I put them in my water and drink them down. They do have a tendency to get a little slimy like the boba at the bottom of bubble tea, but I love that stuff. These Chia seeds fill your belly up so you're not hungry as much AND they help you stay regular, which is my dream come true. PLUS they have tons of Omega 3 which is great if you don't like fish (which I don't). I love a good Chia seed.
OK, so now, if you were to see me on the street you would be like "Hmm, it's doesn't really look like Sabrina's lost weight, but she says she has..." and I'm here to tell you my friend, the Sabrina you see before you now is the no Spanks wearing Sabrina. So I look now like I did when I was wearing those damn spanks all the time, which is how you all saw me so I will look completely the same, did that make sense? I would totes still wear them but I need to get a smaller size and they're pretty pricy so I'll just stick to the losing weight for now. Not only is the weight going down, but my measurements are going down too, I've lost one pants size so my jeans are a total joke, it's like I'm wearing clown pants because they were already getting really baggy from my previous weight loss. I even wore my "skinny" scrub pants to work yesterday, although I must say it was still a bit too soon as I was praying for the seams not to split every time I sat down. But they made it thought the day w/o incident so I'll try again next month. Greg has lost 9 pounds, but has lost a bunch of inches, he looks like he's wearing someone else's  uniforms to work they've gotten so baggy. Yay team us! Emma is also very pleased, she is able to fit into some shorts she bought a few months ago only to have grown out of them before she could wear them. So we're a family who is looking great and feeling even greater!
That's my story for now and I'm sticking to it. Until we meet again in this wonderful place, take care of yourselves and don't forget to go get some Chia seeds (Costco sells them) and change your lives.

xoxo

Week one: -7 pounds

Today was the official one week mark of embarking on the 4 hour body. As of 6:30am I have lost a total of 7 pounds this week. Emma thinks she's lost about 5 pounds and her stomach is much flatter than it was and her thighs are definitely shrinking, not that they were big to begin with. She's very happy. Greg did not weigh himself at the start but just weighed himself yesterday so he'll know more for next week, but he did need to tighten the duty belt on his uniform so that's a good sign. I've had to abolish the vegetarian at home plan for Greg, he was not happy, but didn't mind the soy meat. Kayleigh & Mimi are not thrilled with the new plan of only having dessert on Saturdays but they are happy to have meat back on the table (no, they're not on the "hobo diet" as Greg affectionately calls it). My crock pop happily gets used every night now to cook our delicious beans to last a few days so I don't have to keep opening cans! I must say, I've done more hunting for recipes and along the way have found that eating at Chipotle is encouraged as it has everything we need in a meal minus the rice and dairy products if you get it in a bowl, Emma is very happy. I've also found recipes to make pancakes with beam flour (I don't know what the hell that is or where to find it, but I will), sounds a little sketchy but worth a try, although I can't have syrup. I can have guacamole so I'm LOVING the Wholly Guacamole from Costco, so delicious, maybe I'll put that on my bean flour pancake. Oh, I do have a confession, Greg and I set out to go to the gym yesterday but when we got there at 7: 15 it was closed, they close at 7 on Sundays, so we decided to sneak a treat. We went to the frozen yogurt place and had tiny little samples of each flavor then ran out. Muwahahaha, we are mad geniuses, sneak a sample and ditch. It's a great way to curb a craving without completely blowing your day of eating well. Don't tell Emma though, she'll be ANGRY that we didn't bring her a sample. I even tried the popcorn flavored yogurt and kinda liked it!

So, that's the summation of my first week, it was successful and better yet I feel really good. Thanks for caring.

xoxo

The pressure of cheating got to me

So it's 12:31am, the day after my first cheat day. I have to say it wasn't all that I thought it would be. I'm not saying I didn't enjoy it, but I found that I didn't really want all the crap that I was dreaming about eating. I woke up at 8:00, went to pick Emma up from her lock in at the church and we went straight to my fav coffee shop. I had my mocha and Emma and I split a doughnut and scone. After that we were kinda full and felt a little sick from the sugar. At home I did laundry and had some chips that weren't as satisfying as I thought they would be. Emma made a PB&J and felt very let down, she said "Aw man, I was so excited to have a PB&J, those are the BOMB, but now that I'm eating it I'm realizing it's not as good as I thought it would be!" So we discussed how it felt more like a burden to eat some of the stuff because we didn't really want it but didn't want to waste the day. Later, we went to dinner with my parents and had some Italian food that was very good and some ice cream from Emma's favorite shop The Salt & Straw, which was also very good. But all in all it was a nice day that made my stomach hurt and made me long to have a salad or something that wasn't so heavy or sweet. Poor Greg missed most of his day sleeping! He got home from work at 8:00 then slept until 3:30 when he had to get up so we could go to dinner. During dinner I commented that his blood sugar was probably going to spike because it's been so low with the new eating plan, and sure enough when we go home his sugar was really high which made him sleepy, then he had to go to work, so he only really got one meal to splurge.
In conclusion, we realized that we need to have more of a plan for our cheat day, we need to choose one meal that's the splurge and have it all worked out in advance instead of just having a list of random foods that sound good to us but don't really go together. I also realized that it's amazing how salty junk food is, my fingers are so swollen I can't take my rings off and they were too big earlier! I'm going to drink a cleansing tea and go to bed. It was a relief when the clock turned 12 because the day of high pressure to eat was over. Oh, as of this morning when I weighed myself I was down a total of 7 pounds since Monday. I had put on about 5-6 pounds during my last month or so of my time in hell, but now I'm at my lowest weight since having started this whole endeavor. So I'll keep you posted on my success. I just wish I could move my head to the right without pain, stupid gym, it hurt my shoulders and neck! I need to take a spin in the Angel machine to shake away my aches and pains. I'll do that right after church, that seems like an appropriate time to get hugged by an angel!

xoxo

4 hours to a new me

OK, so it's a few days late but this the post I promised. When I started my new job last week I worked with a woman who had just lost 75 pounds and was losing more every week. I asked her what she was doing and she told me it's called the 4 hour body. So I bought the book and figured I would give it a try. Greg and Emma wanted to join me so we embarked on this adventure together. It's a "slow carb" diet so we haven't been eating any white food, no dairy, no sugar and of course no bread/rice/grains. It's been so amazingly easy, it sounds really crazy but we focus our meals on beans and veggies and soy meat products. Greg is not loving the at home vegetarianism so I've given him a little leniency and he's had some ground beef and chicken this week. Anywho, while on this new eating plan I've already lost 5 pounds and I have to say  I have never felt this good. I have so much energy and Greg and I have been going to the gym and I find that I don't even want to fight going. I think part of that might be the fact that I can plug my earphones into the treadmill and watch live network TV which is a luxury since we don't have cable. I can watch The Voice while briskly walking alongside other sweaty people. It's been really nice. The best part about this eating plan is that for one day a week we can eat anything we want/as much as we want. It's like a game, we talk about all the things we're gonna eat and build up our list. Tomorrow is our first cheat day and as much as I've been looking forward to it I'm not sure I'll go too crazy. This is going to be a boring post, I'm fixin' to go to bed now, it's been a very long day and I'm ready for some shut eye. One thing's for sure, I'm so looking forward to having a coffee drink tomorrow. I've been having to drink my coffee black with cinnamon in it for flavor, no sugar and sometimes 1Tbs of cream. It's really good, but I sure do miss my Mocha. I'm gonna savor that baby like it's my last.

I know I've been a diet jumper lately (as in the last 30 years) but sometimes you have to rule out the things that don't work for you. I figure as long as I'm still heading in the right direction who gives a hoot what I'm doing. OK, gotta run, my bed is calling me, I have a big day tomorrow.

xoxo

I'm ssssshhhhhaaaaking it!

OK, so I have two different stories to tell you but I'm only going to tell you the funny one now and tomorrow I'll tell you the other one that might not be as funny, but it's still good. OK, initiate flash back sequence to the early blog post when I told you about the weird shaking machine I saw in the mall that people are using to shake their fat off. Do you remember that? SOoooo, I started tanning (yeah, yeah, save your judgement for someone who cares) and the place that I go to, Holla out to my girls at Palm Beach Tanning!, has a machine called the Body Angel or some other nonsense like that. Anywho this magical machine is a Red Light therapy machine that helps to erase fine lines, repair sun damage, yes I see the irony, and they claimed that it helps people lose weight too. Well, what the hells, I thought to myself, it's included in my package I may as well try it. So I told my home girl Kansas (that's what her name tag said) that I wanted to try the machine. She walked me to the room, said "OK, so all the directions are on the poster on the wall" then left. I thought that was a little poor on the customer service department, but what do I know. So, I've never been known to have the patience to read directions, I de robed, hopped into the machine and started pressing buttons. The machines these days have a tiny little person in them that walks you through the running of it so I just let the tiny woman tell me what to do. All of a sudden a burst of warmth and red light came on and wrapped me in cocoon of warmth what I can only imagine an angel's embrace feels like. It was amazing, penetrating to my very being. But I'm not content with that, I need to know what other features it has, how do people lose weight? So I'm pushing more buttons and the tiny lady tells me I have entered the cellulite  busting program? What? Did she just say this machine will bust my cellulite?! I pushed the OK button and stood there waiting to be flogged or whatever it was going to do. Imagine my surprise when the floor started to gently move. So I'm standing in the midst of an angel hug and the floor starts vibrating, rapidly building up to a speed that I'm pretty sure gave me early onset shaken baby syndrome. But I'm standing there, as if on a surf board because the tiny woman keeps telling me not to lock my knees. I'm surfing while being hugged by an angel all the while being completely nude!! HELP, I've got a Tsunami building up in my fat as the tectonic shaking is making my multitude of lady lumps, in the back and in the front, my humps, my humps... were rolling like a new phase of the moon had begun. So the whole thing has taken me by surprise and I'm being shaken so vigorously I would defy any piece of cellulite to dare stay on my buttocks! I was scared it would not stop, 10 minutes seems like a lifetime when you're dizzy, but I couldn't stop the machine, the buttons were too high and I was told not to lock my knees so I had to surf and hold my breastacles lest they fall off from the sheer violence of the shaking they were getting! I also had to try to focus on the angel hug that was getting hotter and hotter and I'm pretty sure I saw Satan's face coming at me from the wall of red light, but my brain was so shaken I couldn't see straight. Thankfully the shaking became more gentle and finally stopped. I jumped from the machine and stood there and burst out laughing because all I could think of was I had just experienced the very shaking machine I mocked in my blog! Karma hits me again. I failed to mention that I was at the "beach" with my mom who couldn't figure out how to make the machine shake. I met her when I got out and told her I though my whole butt was going to fall off. We laughed then went to get some dessert, cuz that's how we rolz SON!
 Fast forward to me finishing my wonderful coffee sitting in a booth laughing at how surprised I was at my experience with a machine named after an angel. I went to stand up and POW my back went out so bad I could barely walk to the car. That damn machine BUSTED a cap in my back. I was bent over like an old lady begging my mom to help me get in her stupid SUV that had to be so high, then I begged her to drive around aimlessly so I could use the seat heater some more. It took me days to recover from that experience! But I have to say I have gone back and read the poster which told me I was supposed to start out on a lower level to build up to the highest which was the cellulite treatment. So now I go regularly and although I don't notice too much difference in the weight, I do love the red light portion, it's so wonderful, I learned that the heat can be offset by the fan if you can reach it from a surfers squat. So that's my story for today, another story will happen tomorrow-ish.

xoxo

Depression & Hell on Earth

Hi all, I'm writing this while on the verge of tears of frustration and anger at the dum, dummy, dunces that took Emma's tennis team photos. I've been trying to get a link to see them for two weeks now but apparently there is a monkey with a lobotomy running their site who can't get jack squat right. I just told them to forget it, I'll take my own damn pictures of her since they can't seem to let me see any of the proofs to order them. Jackholes!!!!!!!!!! Phew, that felt good.

OK, "why so long?" you may be wanting to scream at me. Let me tell you, it's incredibly difficult to muster up the will to do anything when you're soul is being crushed and you're in the middle of a deep depression. I know you all know I was working in Hell on Earth, but I don't think you knew how badly it was sucking me dry of my will to do anything. I even totally let go of the weight loss mission. But for the grace of God I didn't gain back any of the weight I had lost, but I was also not eating healthy and that made me feel even worse. Now that I'm away from there I am reminded not only why I went into the medical field (because God called me to do it) but also why I started this mission to eat healthier (because I love me and I want to feel good). Even in the midst of my depression I mostly tried to buy healthy food but we were going out to eat too often. I did, however, lessen our carb intake, put a ban on all fast food as well as stopped buying snacks that were sugar based. Kayleigh has lost about 10 pounds (she also has grown at least 6 inches in the last couple of months) and Emma (with the help of Tennis and daily smoothies) has lost 10% body fat. Greg also lost 20 pounds!!! I'm so proud of those guys. I'm most proud of the fact that K & Mimi have not even asked for fast food since a week after we stopped. I told them it's poison and they said "OK" and that was that. We did turn to Subway for emergency food stops but that's better than McDonalds!

So now that I feel better about my work future I'm focusing on my weight future. I've been making smoothies for breakfast (frozen fruit, kale, yogurt & water). "Kale?" you ask, yes my friends, I put a handful of kale and maybe some unsalted nuts if I have them around. If you overdo the kale it gets a little grassy, but that just makes me feel healthier. I've even suckered the kids into drinking them, not knowing what's in them but yummy fruit. I'm on a mission to feel better and I'm renewed with vigor and excitement. Today I implemented at home Vegetarianism, you can eat a cow if you're going out to eat, but at home it's all healthy stuff. Greg is skeptical but the kids are on board. I downloaded two apps on how to be a Vegetarian and they have some great recipes. I also talked to the kids' doctor and asked her what I need to watch out for. She said to give them a multivitamin and some calcium chews, done and done. One thing I have learned is that I need to buy my veggies as I need them, keep carrots and other snacking veg on hand but shop daily for meal ingredients, this saves money on wasted veg that doesn't get used. Tonight I made some almond pesto with fettuccine, zucchini & carrot "noodles". It was delicious. Kayleigh tried it but opted for beans but Mimi, Emma and even Greg ate it! I also gave them a proper portion of it but because there were the carrots and zucchini it was more filling. I was going to make cashew oatmeal cookies for dessert but forgot to get butter at the store. Oh well, I tried.

So that's where I'm at friends, I'm going to recharge the system and it will be Weight Watchers 2.0, ain't no stopping me now.

xoxo

$2 madness

OK friends, I know it's been a while, it seems like time is whipping by! So last week I took a $2 challenge, almost half of the world is in such poverty that they live on the equivalent of $2 US a day for EVERYTHING! Now I think we all know we could never live on $2 for all of our living expenses for a day, so I took the food challenge. I tried to do it for the whole family but in the end I was the last man standing. So this took much planning and research for recipes, but it was actually an eye opening experience that I quite enjoyed. The first day I had toast with a dab of almond butter for breakfast, PB&J sammie and an apple for lunch and a sammie for dinner too (didn't plan well that first day). All week I drank only half strength coffee and used one tea bag a day, didn't want to spend all my pennies on drinks! I was freaking HUNGRY on that first day so I did some recipe hunting. Armed with my meager monies I took to the grocery store and hunted for the cheapest fixins for a filling meal I could find. I decided to make crock pot lasagna! Not only was it super cheap (no meat), it came out so incredibly awesome it's now on the rotation as a favorite. It turned out to be $0.75/serving and it was satisfying. Notice how I didn't say filling because how filling can a piece of lasagna the size of half your palm be? The online consensus was to eat as many legumes as you can because they're filling and CHEAP. I made a pot of lentil soup from a little kit that was on sale for $1, that made four servings so it was only $0.25/serving, woot, woot. I was really getting the hang of this and after the second day I didn't notice the hunger anymore, it was just a mild wish I could have a tasty morsel or some other such delicious thing. One day I made stir fry with some frozen veg and $1 noodles I found on sale, another delicious meal that was cheap. I was the queen of the $2 a day thing! Then I realized I was not getting what I needed to out of the challenge. There was a light at the end of my tunnel, this was only a challenge, not a true way of life. I had the luxury of choosing higher quality foods than most people in true poverty can. I had a nice warm house full of stuff that I could rest comfortably in while my tummy growled, I wasn't in a drafty shack watching my children go hungry. Even though I lost three pounds that week I gained a better reality of how lucky I am to have all that I do. I also realized that even on my Weight Watchers I've been eating more than I need to just because I could. I was fine not having all kinds of snacks, I ate healthy with smaller portions and I didn't feel cheated. I have to say that I even faced TWO of the demon cakes that had been brought in to celebrate someone's 40 year anniversary and I didn't even flinch. There were a few people at work who went out of their way to make sure I knew they thought I was stupid for taking the challenge but I suspect they were more upset because they're evil ho bags who have no compassion (but that's just my opinion). This challenge opened my eyes to a different way of thinking, I can be a penny pincher and still feed my family well and have some left over money to buy a little something for the homeless woman who lives on the corner by my office, I bet she lives on $2 a day.

When you make a meal tomorrow, price out how much each thing you prepare costs and see if you can eat on just $2 for a day. It's a fun challenge to try for a little while but I'm very grateful I don't have to do it all the time. In fact, I've been very naughty lately and I need to get back on the straight and narrow. I'm actually scared to weigh myself, I've been eating like my old self, but there's always tomorrow, right? Hey, did I mention that I didn't eat that evil cake? That should count for something, right? Hells YES!!!! I really want a shamrock shake now but I'm going to ignore that too, so I'm already ahead of the game! Woohoo for me, death to desserts (except for the little bit of creme brulee I had a lunch today, hehehehe). I must go now, I need to switch the laundry and ignore the licorice that has wormed it's way into the house and keeps calling out to me. Last night it haunted my dreams and today it made sure it was front and center in the cabinet so I would want to turn it into a straw and drink my delicious tea through it, but alas I am a fighter and have turned away from it. Mmm, don't you love it when you turn it into a straw at the movies and it gets all melty and gross? yeah, me too, that's one of my favs. I also love it when it's all fresh and soft, mmmmm, red vines are tiny little ropes to hell. I am tempted to use them but I shall refrain.

xoxo
sugar lumps

Cake makes me quake

CAKE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Help me, I'm being hunted by the most delicious, moist, luscious marble cake with caramel filling and magical cream cheese frosting from the Beaverton Bakery. It taunted me from the corner of the lunch room yesterday and it's haunted my dreams, waking thoughts and desires ever since. I made the grave error of letting it lull me into a false pretense of "just have a tiny slice and you'll be satisfied." CAKE LIAR I now shout in my head, evil temptress of a pastry (is a cake a pastry?). I now know what a liar a cake can be and I'm fighting it's left over sugar trail in my blood. Did I mention that it had cream cheese frosting? That's my kryptonite, cream cheese frosting...mmmmm (drool pools on my shirt as I stare slack jawed at the computer just thinking about it).  I love you delicious cakey cake, you made me so happy and so miserable at the same time. you made my belly ache with an overload of sugar but my taste-buds danced a jig of joy. I took a major leap back in the war against sugar and I need to get my head back in the game. I think I need to break out the big guns and start telling myself that I'm going to die if I eat sugar or something like that. I have not lost any weight this week but I have not gained any either. I'm struggling with PTSD from the whole cake situation in the lunch room, but I'll get over it. I'm going to tough it out and go to a cake coveters workshop that will help me breath through the pain and come out the other side able to set foot in a room with a cake and not sweat buckets. No longer will  I hear "cake, cake, cakity cake..." when people talk to me. The cakes psychological warfare is being battled by myself and a whole slew of gluten free recipes that will probably be so horrible I'll lose my desire for baked goods. Fight delicious food with gross food that's my new mantra!

OK, I'm off to bed where I'll dream of sugar snap peas and broccoli trees. Until we meet again.

xoxo
Sgt. Sugar lumps

P.S. I forgot to mention that I only had a little slice at first, then I went back for a full slice and that's what made me want to roll around on the floor moaning with the injustice of such a beautiful thing making me feel so bad. I'm my own worst enemy!

Crock Pot Boot Camp

Good evening troops, I'm focusing today on the mess hall. By this I mean food and not the bit 'ol mess in my damn hall that nobody will clean up! Why do we have so many jackets and shoes?! Jeesh. Anywho, back to the mess hall food edition....

While on my journey to finding the thinner person within myself I have developed a deep love for my crock pot. Talk about an easy way to have healthy meals ready when you get home! On one of my recon missions I overheard a woman say that you can cook virtually any meat in the crock pot with just enough of your favorite sauce to cover the meat and set it for 8 hours on low. Hmmm. I went back to my bunker and started pondering this secret of the crock pot universe and decided I had to test this theory myself. I took my vehicle to the secret store of excess (Costco), bought some chicken, pasta sauce and veggies and set off back to the bunker. For this experiment I chose three different colors of bell peppers and a mixture of little heirloom squash, so darn cute. I cut them up, put them on the bottom, threw the chicken on the top and dumped the heart healthy pasta sauce over it all and set the crock pot to medium for 8 hours. When I woke up this morning my house smelled like an Italian restaurant and the sauce had turned into a soup with all the moisture from the veggies and steam. Damn son, this was the most tasty dish and it was only 3 points for two ladles full!! The chicken was so tender it fell apart and the veggies were perfect. Even Emma loved it which says a lot since she's no fan of chicken. I'm hooked on the easy crock pot inventions now. Tomorrow I'll do something with some chicken, teriyaki sauce, pineapple and maybe asparagus!

Now on to the real new from the battle front. I'm still struggling to hold back the sugar army. I don't know why I'm having such a hard time this time but it's kinda kicking my butt. I do really well with the fight and then I'll go nuts eating cinnamon lips from a Valentine's candy mix. We went through and made sure there was nothing to temp me, but we splurged on the candy and now I regret it. The good news is it was just a half a cup of mix. I need to eliminate the enemy, I'm going to brain wash myself in to just thinking I don't like sweets. I'll tell myself this over and over and hopefully I'll win the war. For now I just avoid as many of the sugar land mines as I can and go on about my day. Drinking green tea all day definitely helps, it's not sweet but the hot water makes me not crave the sweet so much. So if you see me marching across the battlefield with my trusty blue patterned canteen you'll know it's me marching farther away from the sugar army.

Until we meet again, keep up the good fight! I've met my next WW goal so now I'm on a mission to lose at least 5 pounds in the next couple of weeks. Root me on friends, when this war is over we'll have a ticker tape parade made from fruit leather and drink freshly blended smoothies with spinach sneaked into them! Always remember this, cans and boxes are not your friends, they disguise themselves as such but don't fall for it! They're just sugar disguised as "healthy" food, I fell for this trap and I won't see you do it too. Use the cans to throw them at your scale when you weigh yourself, it feels great!

Sgt. Sugar Lumps...out!
xoxo

Fight fat with a little Veggie soup!

Hello from the trenches. I don't really know how many days it's been since this war started, something like 14 days, maybe less, maybe more. It's hard to keep track of the days when you're at war. The sugar doesn't stop, it's everywhere I look. I am pleased to announce that even though the attacks keep coming I have now officially lost the pounds I put on during my vacation & the holidays so I'm back to 15 pounds down from the original starting weight. I'm hoping that I can keep tipping the scale in my favor. I fought the glorious fight with delicious veggie soup. I've been eating veggie soup every day for lunch during the week and lots of fruit and at night I eat a light meal so that's been helping take the weight off. I also read that green tea is great to help melt belly fat so I drink my one cup of coffee in the morning and green tea the rest of the day. Even if it does nothing for melting the fat it's way better than anything else I drink other than water. So it's a win win situation.
There's a woman at work who is doing the Medifast diet, she's been doing it since maybe a week or two after I started Weight Watchers and she's lost 25 pounds so far. Even thought I haven't lost as much as her I'm pretty proud that I've been able to make a steady decline without having to eat only dehydrated food and weird shakes. It's been eye opening learning to eat properly. Not that I'm perfect by any means, I do have a red velvet cheese cake sitting in my freezer right now, but you can't win a war without a little struggle.
OK warriors, I'm off to make my week's worth of veggie soup now, I'm going for a delicious Wonton soup this time. Mmmmmmm, mmmmm!

xoxo

Hello from the trenches

January 5, 2013....day three of my war against sugar. I'm hunkered down in my fox hole but I'm under a rapid fire attack and just trying to keep myself barricaded. The sugar is putting up a good fight and I haven't been as strong as I had hoped, I had to retreat a little this week (I say this as I'm pushing the Hot Tamales farther out of my reach). I'm regrouping, rebuilding my fortress and I'll start anew tomorrow. I'll be getting more rations tomorrow and will fortify my supply of fresh fruit and veggies. This war is going to be very tough and I'm going to take a beating, but it's a war worth fighting. I'm recruiting soldiers if any of you want to join my platoon. Oh, I have to go now, I sense a night attack coming, the hot tamales are chanting and jumping in their bag, I have to put down the computer and run away screaming. *whispering* I'll write again very soon to keep you updated on the war.

xoxo
Sgt. Sugar Lumps

It's 2013 and there are no flying cars yet!

Happy new year friends!! I can't believe it's already 2013. Do you remember when you were little and totally thought that by this time in the future we would have flying cars, houses that cooked for you and all the things they tempted us with in futuristic movies? I can tell you I never dreamed that it would still be so mundane, although technology is advancing quickly. So I'm going to do a quick recap on the year and continue back on my path to weight loss blogging. All in all this hasn't been the worst year ever. Our house didn't get robbed again, I got a new van and now I'm on my way to a healthier me. I feel like I've become a better person this year, I've put a lot of things in perspective and really determined what's important. As much as I love to shop and get new stuff, I have learned that the stuff we have is not important at all. Losing all our prized possessions last year made me realize that none of it was that important at all. The only things I lost that still make me sad are the pictures and heirloom jewelry that can't be replaced, I don't have any feelings of loss or sadness for anything else, even the stuff that wasn't replaced. On the bright side I'm awesome at backing my pics and stuff up now!! I learned that I'm a stronger person than I thought, I decided the show kindness and understanding to the woman at work who was making my life miserable and now we have a comfortable peace, I actually enjoy my job again! I realized that I'm not working to make her happy, I'm working to make my family's lives better so that makes it easy for me to be happy. Last but not least I've learned where the most delicious Mac & Cheese cart in town is so I can make a return trip and enjoy the decadence!! Happy 2013 y'all!

Now on the the real business....While in Orlando I only gained 2 lbs, woot, woot!! I was so relieved. Now for the bad news.... I got hooked on the sugar again! Ok, I can hear you all shouting "No! Say it ain't so!" but I'm coming clean. It all started with a Mickey Mouse shaped rice crispy treat (it's tradition, I always get one when I go to Disney parks!), then it's like the old comfortable coat of sugar addiction enveloped me. I really tried to say no, I even tried to be good when I came back and there were sugary treats all over my office from people baking every damn night and bringing in their poison. But it was too late, the seal had been broken and I've been struggling ever since. I think sugar addiction is harder to quit than any drug, there's no heroin added to bread or cereal, no meth or crack put in ketchup and drinks. You have to go out of your way to feed a drug addiction, you only need to open a cabinet and look at the ingredients in your most "healthy" snack and see that some form of sugar is added. So I'm back to square one and it's almost worse than before because I had a taste and it set me into a frenzy. So once again the cabinets have been cleared of anything overtly sugary (which thank goodness there wasn't much) and I did my shopping tonight and bought all fresh foods. As I sit here typing this I have a big pot of vegetable soup on the stove and the ingredients for sugar free pumpkin cookies standing by to be combined tomorrow. Maybe it will be easier this time since I've done it before. I'm optimistic and have the family dinners already planned and the new crock pot is itching to be started in the morning. So here we go again my friends, to date I have lost 12 pounds (it was 15 minus the two I gained in Orlando and the one I've gained since being back). Here's to 2013 kicking butt and minimizing my waist.

xoxo

Treading water

Happy Thanksgiving!! We cheated a little this year and celebrated turkey day last Sunday because Greg had to work today and we didn't want to have it without him. The great thing about that was, for the very first time in my life, we actually had a relaxing and great Thanksgiving meal with my parents because it was just us and them, no chaos and days of preparation, it was AWESOME!! Most of you who know me know I HATE Thanksgiving because it's always so stressful and my family was very dysfunctional and I hated being forced to be around them when I was younger. So this year was a great relief. So like a good Weight Watchers Devotee I loaded my plate with veggies and a small scoop of potatoes and stuffing. I ate the veggies first and then went to splurge on the stuffing and I was too full!!! Dag nab it, I couldn't even eat my stuffing and mashed potatoes :( I was super PO'd to say the least. Oh well, I at least I didn't over eat and feel bad about myself. I only had a little bite of Emma's Pumpkin Pie and chocolate torte so it was a good day for my healthy eating.

More good news, at my weigh in on Monday (in my bathroom) I have lost a total of 13 pounds so far! Yay me :) I had my ups and downs last week, my job situation is horrible, have you ever felt like everyone in a group is against you and you're just trying to keep your head above water? That's what it's like at work. A co-worker came back from maternity leave and has targeted me for some reason and is making my life a living hell. Of course she's the office favorite so I can't go to the boss because she's believed everything this woman has said about me and has spoken to me twice about things this woman has said about me and believed them. Yeah, it's awesome. Anywho, I was letting that get me down and not following my eating plan as well as I had been before she came back and I was nervous that I had put on a bunch of weight, but at my weigh in I had still lost weight so I just have to get back on track. So after much praying and job rejections I came to the conclusion that my job right now is just my karma for not always being nice to people and when the time is right for me I'll get responses to the applications I keep filling out. I also concluded that this woman does not define my job or how I am doing my job so I'm just going to do what's the best for my patients and make them happy. I'm also not working for her, I'm working for my family and to keep my kids fed and happy so she can stuff it up her nose. I had a good time the three days I worked this week because I did nothing the evil woman at work could complain about and I could tell she was getting pissed. She kept trying to find an error in my work but I just smiled and explained what I was doing and told her I would be more than happy to do it differently if she wanted, I was just doing things the way she trained me to. If course she couldn't find anything wrong so she was in a pissy mood, muwahahaha.

So on this Thanksgiving day I'm going to say that I'm thankful I have a job; that I'm finally getting healthy; that I have friends who care enough to read about my journey to getting healthy; that my family are all healthy and that I can say a prayer and have it answered in a way that I can understand and apply to my life. I'm also thankful that we're lucky enough to be able to go to Florida for 10 fun filled days!

I'm going to be leaving on the aforementioned trip on Sunday so I won't be checking back in until we get back as I won't be bringing my laptop with me. I'll just need everyone to send positive energy and thoughts out to the universe that I can resist the many temptations of the sweet shops and restaurants we'll be surrounded by. My goal is to at least maintain my current weight loss. So thanks for reading and I hope you have a great couple of weeks, I know I will!!!

xoxo

Oy it's been so long!

Hello friends, long time no blog! I know it's been weeks, but it has just slipped by so fast I forgot to log on and do an update. Let's start with the good news, drum roll please.........as of this past Sunday (my weigh in day) I've lost 11 pounds. Hecks to the yes my friends. It doesn't look like I've lot a lot of weight, but I can definitely tell in the way my clothes are fitting me. Thank you weight watchers! All of that AND I survived Halloween with the candy all up in my business. Let me just tell you that it wasn't easy. I got into such a fight with Kayleigh's candy bag that I accidentally inhaled 2-4 fun sized snickers! That bag put up a good fight too. It kept trying to hide up on the top shelf but I wasn't going to let that happen, no hiding in this house, if you're going to taunt me you're going to do it face to face. I showed it who the boss is, I wiped that smile right off it's Jack-O-Lantern face when I robbed it of all the best goodies. Muwahahahaha, I still rule this house.

So nothing else exciting is really happening in my life right now, I'm miserable at work because I work with a bunch of passive aggressive, insane people who make me feel like I'm on guard all the time. So I spend my days constantly pretending I'm not a smart ass, trying not to make sarcastic comments because I don't want these nuts to run to the boss who is the queen of passive aggression. We all know how difficult it is for me to not make snarky comments about things, I mostly just sit there biting my tongue because they make themselves such easy targets. It's a practice in self control.

OK, that's about all I have brain power for now, I must rest my weary head now, I just got back from the Fresh Beat Band concert with Mimi and Emma so I'm wiped out, too much hard core rocking.

xoxo

Come on shuh-shake it!

Hello, hello, hello! I know, you're all thinking "where the heck did you go? Did you kill yourself after the depressing last post?" Nope, I'm still here fighting the monkey on my back. I'd also like to make the announcement that I am 8 pounds lighter than when I started Weight Watchers. Woot woot!

Now on to the informational portion of our meeting:  Here's the low down on my video making status....it's a lot harder than anticipated. I can't have the camera on a tripod because I'm out of frame a bunch of the time. That means I must have a camera person, right? Well, I have a 7 year old helper and a 10 year old helper (the 14 year old would rather DIE than film me making a fool of myself). Both of my available helpers either want to join in the fun or are laughing so hard the camera is shaking and it looks like the Blair Witch Project. So I'm working on that for y'all. I want you all to be the first to know that I'm working on creating a new form of exercise that combines cardio, strength "training" and graceful movement. It's called spastic splendor and I discovered it while jumping around after dropping a can on my foot. I was holding two heavy cans and a can from the counter dropped on my foot. I immediately started jumping around flailing my arms, spinning in circles and chanting some very flattering words. After I stopped I noticed that I was out of breath, my arms were tired from flailing while holding cans and my thighs were starting to smart from doing some sort of squat/lunge jumping movement. I realized that this is a great way to let go of stress and get a good workout so I'm going to start holding classes in the play room for the kids to let out their inner spaz. I think I may even teach it to Emma's youth group on Mentor night, what a great way to bond with her and her friends, right? 

Hey, have you seen those shaking your fat off machines? They're supposed to be equivalent to 1 hr in the gym for 20 minutes on this machine. They have them in some malls now, you can pay a fee and do your fat shaking right there for everyone to see!! It's like a train wreck, I feel sad for the people but I must to watch them shake their stuff. It's a stand on machine with rails that shakes so fast it's like...I don't know what it's like but I'm SOOOOOO tempted to try it just to say I did. Anywho, this thing makes all the flesh on your body shake like a glorious, rippling fiesta of flubber! I want to go to that party! All I can think of is how the helicopter do those peeps not get shaken baby syndrome? They're actually doing push ups on this thing and various poses that are supposed to work the different areas of your body and then when you're done it's like having sea legs on land. You walk all crazy like you're drunk! I tried to find a vibration fitness funny video on you tube but apparently it's a very serious business so I didn't find anything funny. What is this world coming to that we need to shake our fat off in 20 minutes at the mall? Who knows the brain damage this will cause, but then I'm so curious I must know what it's like. Hmmmm, if only it weren't smack dab in the middle of one of the biggest malls around I might try it out. If I had one of these at home I would use it and make all my phone calls during that time, how fun would it be to sound like you're talking through a fan all the time? I think I may have to do a post where I try all the crazy weight loss things I come across, like the vibration exercise and colonic that I've spoken of in a past post. I'm thinking of buying adult hippity hops and making that part of my exercise plan. Would that not be the most fun ever? Although I think a 41 year old woman hippity hopping down the road might be more embarrassing than letting a machine shake my fat for the world to see. Do I care? Well, yeah, kinda, but it sounds like so much fun :) Look, I'm smiling just writing about it.

Well folks, that's the word of the week, let me know if you see any funny exercise videos, I could use good chuckle at the expense of someone else.

xoxo

Inside the mind of a fat person

Tonight I'm going to bring you into the secret world of a fat person's mind. Now there are many people out there who get all upset with the term "fat", I'm not putting myself and my kind down, I'm merely stating a fact. Maybe I've become desensitized by it from so many years of strangers and not so strangers calling me names, but I'm not offended by the word fat. Anywho, this is a little insight into what we think about on a daily basis.......

I wake up and start thinking about what I'm going to eat today. It's not obsessive (yet), it's just a quick "what's for breakfast?" As I make my way downstairs I start to think in earnest what I'm going to eat (here's where it starts to get obsessive). I have my coffee and decide if it's going to be cereal, a weight loss shake or a bagel. Now starts the struggle between what I want and what I know is better. I start bargaining with my points in my head, calculating what I can have for the rest of the day. It starts to get hard because I can feel myself starting to slide back into old habits so then I get all Srgt. Strict with myself and remind me what my goal is.

Lunch is easy peasy because it's almost always a black bean burger, I'm SO addicted to those things I can eat them all day every day. Once lunch is packed it's done so I don't obsess about it as much plus my job is crazy busy so there's no time to think about it. BUT, I sit in the break room which is filled with people who bring in food from the amazing restaurants that surround my clinic. That's hard sometimes because it smells so good I always want to eat the good stuff. Luckily my desire to not spend money on lunch is way stronger than my desire to go out so I go about my business. Once lunch is over it's the biggest struggle of the day...the commute home.

Here's where it gets 12 step program real. I'm exhausted and HUNGRY, it's usually 6pm and I still have an hour commute home (give or take 20 min). So now the struggle is on, I try to have an apple or large cup of water to curb my appetite, but that's not always helpful. So now I'm seriously obesssssssing over food. I want to stop SO badly at some fast food place and sneak a fatty treat. I think about it the whole time. Some days I even get off the freeway with the intent to get something, then I'll talk myself down and get home without incident. But I still have to get the kids, who have already eaten so now it would be so easy to get something fast. Do I do it? I'm driving home with the kids and the whole time they're telling me their stories of the day I'm thinking, "should I just stop?" the temptation is so strong but I struggle through. Last Friday I succumbed to the temptation but one day out of three weeks isn't so bad. Before I started this I was stopping almost every night and feeling like crap about myself so I would shove food in my face since I didn't care. When I sit at home I'm always thinking about food, trying to be all casual about it but it's always on my mind. When we go out somewhere it's always a struggle not to stop and get a meal, I just try think about what I have at home and how quick it would be to make something. For example, I didn't get home until 8am tonight and I  wanted to get some food so badly. I was so close and just resisted. Then I was going to just have cereal then I decided I deserved more so I made some steamed veggies and pasta. I know it was late and you shouldn't eat late but I would rather eat something healthy late than a fatty meal. I felt so great about myself :) Weekends are so hard, I think about food and struggle with food for 18 hours a day for two straight days. It's exhausting!

Why am I telling you all this? Because I think it's important for people to really understand what a struggle losing weight is for a fat person. It's hard for everyone, I know, but I think for a fat peson it's easier to convince yourself it's never going to work because you always go back to bad habits and it seems like such an endless, unreachable goal.  It feels like I'm an alcoholic who's trying to stay sober. I know I have to change my ways and it's not just going to be with food, it has to be psychological too, otherwise it won't work. I also wanted you to read this so you can turn to the person in your life who you know has struggled with weight or even yourself and give yourself a serious pat on your back. No matter what you weight loss goal or history is you're fighting your worst enemy (yourself) to get to your goal. You don't need to feel shame for struggling with food, the more you embrace it the easier it is to give yourself a break for being an addict. I'm not saying it's OK for me to be this way so I don't have to even try, I'm just saying it's OK for me to struggle, I'm human and I'm doing my best. My name is Sabrina and I'm a food addict. I struggle every day to keep myself on the healthy path. Some days I slip up but I don't let that get me down. When I slip I don't spiral, I don't allow myself to feel shame, I take a deep breath and tell myself that I'm going to do better next time. Last Friday I only had a burger, I didn't do the whole meal, now that's a BIG deal for me. I still made my points work and I held my head high. Even though Weight Watchers makes changing easier, it's still a struggle every. single. day.

This time I really mean it.

xoxo

My big debut

Oh man you guys, this is the big test. I told my coworker Toni that I would meet her at LA Fitness on Saturday and take the aerobics class with her! I'm FREAKING out! I know you think I exaggerate how I look while working out, but that is one thing I don't do justice to. I'm being totally serious when I say that I turn bright red and start gasping for air like a fish on the floor. So I warned Toni that she might get a little embarrassed and I understand if she pretends she doesn't know me once I start my out of rhythm two stepping and flailing. I'm excited and full of dread at the same time. She even suggested we do Zumba together, but I'm afraid we all know what that means. I told her to slow down her horses, let's just get through this one class first before you decide you want to be seen exercising with me. So Toni told me the class starts at 8:45am (yes, I said AM!), and she told me to get there at 8:15 and we can run on the treadmill "for a minute". Um, pardon me, I'm not trying to be rude here, but is that not 30minutes? Hmmm? There's a big difference between "a minute" and 30 MINUTES! If I "run" for "a minute" I'm gonna be donezo, ready to be outsky if you know what I mean. For a fat person, or should I rephrase that to an actively shrinking person, 30 minutes of running is equivalent to a fit person climbing Mt. Everest. Are you picking up what I'm laying down? Give me "a minute" to get acclimated to an active lifestyle again woman! So my first exercise video shall be taped tomorrow night as I try to prepare for my big aerobics in public debut.

Now on to the exciting news.......after my first week on Weight Watchers I have lost 2 pounds (that's fully clothed w/shoes on too, so maybe it's more like 4pounds)! Yay me! I can only imagine how much faster it will come off once I'm exercising regularly. Woot, woot! I really must tell you that I'm enjoying Weight Watchers (no, they're not paying me to say that. In fact, I'm paying THEM!) it makes life a whole lot easier and I just keep a log of what I eat using their handy app! The only bad thing is I just found out that my beloved Coffee Mate Pumpkin Spice creamer has the same amount of points in 4 tablespoons as a bowl of cereal with milk! Psst, that's a lot for those of you not in the know, it's the same as my breakfast. I'm very sad but I have to switch to a less delicious flavor that's fat free and other healthier things. Cuz even thought I get a lot of points now, due to my weight, as I lose it I will get less points and I ain't wasting them on 4 measly tablespoons of creamer!

Alright, I'm gonna leave you with this one funny work story. Yesterday I was working with a resident who is a very young, very good looking boy (26 years old). My coworker roomed one of his patients and told him she was ready for him to go in the room. A few minutes later we hear him exclaim "Oh MY! Wow, um OK." as he entered the room then he closed the door. After 30 minutes in the room he came out and asked my coworker "Did you tell that woman to take her pants off?" my coworker said "Dude, no way, why would I tell her to do that?" then she said "wait, were her pants off?" He said yes, she was completely nude from the waist down. The funny part is that she was there for shortness of breath and heart palpitations, nothing that would require him to need to see her schmuzzie! She told the nurse that she thought the doctor was hot! Who does stuff like that?!

Have a great day/night/morning/whatever :)

xoxo

I'm not sure anyone reads these posts anymore,but I'm gonna keep on keeping on with the writing. So last week I did well with adding more activity to my lifestyle but didn't do the gym, I just can't drag myself out of bed at 5am when I don't even get to bed until 12 or 1! Next pay day I'll buy my way out of my contract and move to LA Fitness (pinkie promise). So as I was chugging along I realized that I need to be more aware of the food I'm eating. I totally noticed that I was finding more and more excuses to eat crap late since I don't get home until late and the kids have already had dinner at my parents. So I started a food diary. Now talk about a scary freakin' story! My food diary made me laugh, it made me cry, it had me on the edge of my seat (but not in a good way). Did I seriously eat a whole bag of rice puff chip things? YES! Just because they're "good for you" doesn't mean eating 10 servings is OK! ERMAGHERD, no WONDER I'm not losing any weight!!! I was eating so bad at night that I totally undid anything good I did during the day. And as long as I'm being honest here I may as well say that I even cheated on my diary. WHAT?! Who the flip and I cheating for? I'm the only one who's gonna read the damn thing and I'm trying to impress myself with how healthy I ate! I was blowing smoke up my own butt, how ridiculous is that? So I called in the big guns.....I joined Weight Watchers online. I'm doing it with a coworker (who is a major health Nazi). Toni (my coworker) is a cancer survivor who has lost a bunch of weight using weight watchers and she's definitely an inspiration. She works out in the morning and then again after work. So I've been a member for two days and this crazy woman is already giving me the mom eyes. This morning she said "So, did you do it? Hmmmm?" (she was asking if I joined the club) I said "I sure did!" and then she gave me those mom eyes that say "Aw hells no, I KNOW you're lying to me right now! What kind of fool do you think I am?" She had her head all tilted to one side, lips pursed, eyebrows raised trying to get me to admit I was lying. I said "YES! I totally joined!" and she said "Mmm hmmm". This all happened in the 30 seconds it took me to walk by her desk with a patient on my way to a room. So then I started justifying myself to the poor patient who was barely standing upright, shuffling along trying to make it to the scale. I was all "Jeesh, did you see that? She's trying to call me out! I joined Weight Watchers yesterday and she doesn't believe me!" The poor lady I was talking to was just looking at me and her daughter said "She can't hear you, and yes, by the way, I did see her giving you that face." THANK YOU! I knew it! So then I started muttering to myself that I'm a 41 year old woman, I don't need to answer to HER. Then I finished with my patient and immediately went to my desk, got my tablet and showed mommy, I mean Toni, my online account. This got a smile from her so I felt like I got my praise for the day. The awesome news is I used to do WW many moons ago and it totally worked, until I stopped and went back to my bad ways, but it came back to me so quickly how flipping easy it is. Especially now with everything being online. So after each meal/snack I just log it through my app on the tab and I'm done, no more adding stuff up on paper and figuring everything out manually, it's already in the system and if its not I can scan a bar-code on a package and find out the points, easy peasy.

So to recap my progress thus far, I have:
-Started drinking two glasses of water before each meal (getting plenty of water now!)
-Started drinking a glass of milk at night when I feel like a snack (curbs the cravings!)
-Started Weight Watchers and am keeping a food journal (lost weight from sobbing so hard reading the journal!)
-Continuously lied to you about working out more (not happy about that but I can change it!)
-Not lost more than 6 pounds, but am feeling very hopeful now! Plus, 6 pounds in a month and a half isn't shameful, it's around a pound a week. I'll get better.

OK, this is the end, but I was thinking about starting a photo timeline to go along with this. You know, along the line of the before an after Jenny Craig photos, but this would be a bi-weekly photo of my progress, or monthly, what do you think? No, you can open your eyes, I won't be in a sports bra and bike shorts!!!!! But it will have to be something kinda clingy I guess, even though I may die just having that documented in photos. I was also thinking if I post a weekly workout montage video of different at home workouts I do it might give you some entertainment and make me more accountable to work out. Let me know what you think.

xoxo

I am Nemo

OK, so I just have to share a story that is HORRIFYING and has nothing to do with the point of this blog, but I'm thinking that all the experiences I have in life make my successes or less than successes. So here it goes. * Insert wavy lines leading you back into my memory~then camera focuses clearly on this scene* Me, in a bathroom with an elderly woman (for this story we'll call her Beulah because I want to) in a wheel chair. Beulah cannot use the restroom by herself so I've offered to help a sista out. Memories of my short tenure at the nursing home came flooding back and it was so second nature I didn't bat an eye. I helped Beulah out of the chair and she was hovering over the toilet using both  hands on the Ermagherd! bar to keep from toppling over which left me with only one thing to do.....I had to pull down her pants and brief (read adult diaper). At that precise angle and the juxtaposition of the toilet, the alignment of the freakin' planets and the proximity of my face to Beulah's well endowed backside, the most horrendous thing happened. Oh NO my friends, you think you know what happened, but you have no idea, I only WISH it was what you're thinking! The action of my pulling down the brief caused a HUGE cloud of butt powder to billow out of the brief and COVER MY FREAKIN HEAD AND ARMS!!!! Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuu! I wanted to freak out but I couldn't even react so I put Beula on the pot and told her I would be right back. I took that chance to go full Silkwood in the bathroom next door. When I looked in the mirror my face, hair and arms were covered in powder, BUTT powder!!! I scrubbed my face so hard with a towel my skin was all pink and shiny, my hair was wet and I just wanted to curl up in the corner and cry. I got Beulah all settled in her room and went back to the bullpen and told my story to my support group. One of the nurses jumped up and started doing a full disinfection, he was like Jacques the shrimp in Finding Nemo. As soon as Nurse Jacques was done with his cleaning I went right back to work and and within minutes found myself holding up a girl who had passed out after getting a shot. I was minding my own business when one of the other MA's yelled for me to help her. I went to the room she was in and she asked me to take a patient's blood pressure because the girl was feeling really woozy. While I was bent over putting the cuff on her arm she slumped onto me!! HUH? She was breathing and blinking but totally unresponsive. So I was left to hold the hold the girl up (she was in a chair) while the MA went to get a Dr.. Within minutes I found myself holding one of her legs elevated above her heart level (we laid her down) while the other MA held the other one and 3 doctors and 4 nurses tried to get this girl to come back from the depths of her mind. Talk about surreal! The fact that none of this made me once think that I hated my job made me really know that this is the right job for me.

Phew, that out of the way lets move on to what else is going on. Am I getting fatter? Seriously guys, I've cut my intake in half and the half I do eat is (mostly) healthy. I'm having the most bizarre experience in that my pants are getting bigger but my scrub tops seem to be getting tighter and those suckers don't shrink!  What the hells? Although I do seem to be super bloated so maybe that's the prob. I don't know :( I have not weighed myself in about a month and I must admit that I feel better in terms of energy and pride for my family for being so awesome about the whole change. I wonder if my body is still in shock and is trying to hold on to the fat? It could also be that the change of jobs and all the stress that's followed could have stalled me because I definitely feel like the bloat has happened since I started the job. Can I just say that my first two weeks on the job have seriously felt like months? I was thrown into chaos and the woman training me went into labor on Tuesday so basically I had three days of training in the office and then was thrown to the wolves to sink or swim. Not to brag but I'm SOOOO thankful I learn quickly because I would seriously have followed my trainer to the hospital, pulled that baby out and forced her to come back to finish my training. Back to the point at hand: What can I do to stimulate my metabolism? I need to regroup and start next week off with a new POV, now that school is in full swing and I'm familiar with my (2hr) commute I can start getting to bed early and getting up in enough time to resume a daily workout. Did I mention that the people I work with are INSANE health nuts so they make it easier to keep on the straight and narrow.

Confession: So most of you know I'm a shameless lover of reality shows. Weeellll; I was watching Beverly Hills Nannies and they had a colonic. So I looked up the benefits and it sounded interesting and a good way to clean the pipes of the left over oogies. Not that I'm sayin' I'm gonna go get flushed, but I've been thinking about it. Does anyone have a "friend" who has tried it in the past? I'm not sure it's something I'd really be willing to try but it's a thought. Is that TMI? Um, hello? Have you met me? You know I calls 'em as I sees 'em. I'm not trying to tell you what you want to hear, I'm just keeping it real up in the feel aight?

Well folks, that's the summary of my week. Let me know if you have any ideas about metabo boost or tips on life in general.

xoxo

Here's what happening in my world

OK, so I've had the most stressful two weeks what with getting ready to leave my job and start a new one and all the guilt and nervousness and preparation that goes along with it. Anywho, all the stress triggered my old pal Bells Palsy to start rearing it's ugly head. Not only am I one of the lucky few to have extremely painful Palsy, it never really went away in the first place, my face has never felt the same since. So I've been downing steroids and antibiotics in the hope of stopping it from progressing to the point where half of my face falls again. Now I'm back to having heart palpitations due to the steroids and stress and I've been like a woman on crack who is rushing around a mile a minute because I'm so juiced up!! This morning I actually told Emma to take her herbal calming pills because I could feel that I was going to be a complete freak about cleaning the house today and she'd need them to stand being around me. The GOOD news is....my plan to drink water before every meal is working out great! I find that I eat around 60% less and all the water is working wonders on my skin. At first it was flushing out all the oogies so I was breaking out but now that it's been a while my skin is great and not dry anymore! So it's two great things in one. Another great tip is this: At night when I'm hungry and I REALLY want to eat something, I've been just having a glass of milk and it cuts those cravings. Since I'm not buying the sugary treats, I'm going to get some Ovaltine and that will be dessert. The kids are pitching in too. Kayleigh bought some red velvet pancake mix that was low in sugar and then she looked up a recipe for sugar free cream cheese frosting that I made and it was FABULOUS! I never thought they'd be so great with this decision! Last night Emma wanted a sloppy joe, so I found a healthy recipe and added lots of veggies. Mimi screamed for 30 minutes that she wouldn't even taste it, and when I told her there would be no other food for her until she at least tasted it, she tried it and ate two pita shells full! Things are looking up in the Lewis household, finally. Now I just have to re-boot my desire to work out. I've been soooooo lax lately, I just can't motivate myself to go to the gym. I walk more, take the stairs as much as possible and make little efforts here and there, but I just can't do the gym. I've been thinking of leaving curves and moving to LA Fitness (I'll get a discount through my new employer) and that way I can swim in the mornings and that might be the change I need. I just don't know, if any of you have any motivational tips I'm always open for suggestions. I think I just need to tough love myself and just make me to back to the open arms of the gym.
I'm hoping that once I've made the switch to the new job and I'm all settled I'll be back in the mindset to make exercise a priority. But until that time comes I'm going to continue on the path to eating better/less and  moving forward one day at a time.