Hello, hello, hello! I know, you're all thinking "where the heck did you go? Did you kill yourself after the depressing last post?" Nope, I'm still here fighting the monkey on my back. I'd also like to make the announcement that I am 8 pounds lighter than when I started Weight Watchers. Woot woot!
Now on to the informational portion of our meeting: Here's the low down on my video making status....it's a lot harder than anticipated. I can't have the camera on a tripod because I'm out of frame a bunch of the time. That means I must have a camera person, right? Well, I have a 7 year old helper and a 10 year old helper (the 14 year old would rather DIE than film me making a fool of myself). Both of my available helpers either want to join in the fun or are laughing so hard the camera is shaking and it looks like the Blair Witch Project. So I'm working on that for y'all. I want you all to be the first to know that I'm working on creating a new form of exercise that combines cardio, strength "training" and graceful movement. It's called spastic splendor and I discovered it while jumping around after dropping a can on my foot. I was holding two heavy cans and a can from the counter dropped on my foot. I immediately started jumping around flailing my arms, spinning in circles and chanting some very flattering words. After I stopped I noticed that I was out of breath, my arms were tired from flailing while holding cans and my thighs were starting to smart from doing some sort of squat/lunge jumping movement. I realized that this is a great way to let go of stress and get a good workout so I'm going to start holding classes in the play room for the kids to let out their inner spaz. I think I may even teach it to Emma's youth group on Mentor night, what a great way to bond with her and her friends, right?
Hey, have you seen those shaking your fat off machines? They're supposed to be equivalent to 1 hr in the gym for 20 minutes on this machine. They have them in some malls now, you can pay a fee and do your fat shaking right there for everyone to see!! It's like a train wreck, I feel sad for the people but I must to watch them shake their stuff. It's a stand on machine with rails that shakes so fast it's like...I don't know what it's like but I'm SOOOOOO tempted to try it just to say I did. Anywho, this thing makes all the flesh on your body shake like a glorious, rippling fiesta of flubber! I want to go to that party! All I can think of is how the helicopter do those peeps not get shaken baby syndrome? They're actually doing push ups on this thing and various poses that are supposed to work the different areas of your body and then when you're done it's like having sea legs on land. You walk all crazy like you're drunk! I tried to find a vibration fitness funny video on you tube but apparently it's a very serious business so I didn't find anything funny. What is this world coming to that we need to shake our fat off in 20 minutes at the mall? Who knows the brain damage this will cause, but then I'm so curious I must know what it's like. Hmmmm, if only it weren't smack dab in the middle of one of the biggest malls around I might try it out. If I had one of these at home I would use it and make all my phone calls during that time, how fun would it be to sound like you're talking through a fan all the time? I think I may have to do a post where I try all the crazy weight loss things I come across, like the vibration exercise and colonic that I've spoken of in a past post. I'm thinking of buying adult hippity hops and making that part of my exercise plan. Would that not be the most fun ever? Although I think a 41 year old woman hippity hopping down the road might be more embarrassing than letting a machine shake my fat for the world to see. Do I care? Well, yeah, kinda, but it sounds like so much fun :) Look, I'm smiling just writing about it.
Well folks, that's the word of the week, let me know if you see any funny exercise videos, I could use good chuckle at the expense of someone else.
xoxo
Monday, October 15, 2012
Wednesday, October 3, 2012
Inside the mind of a fat person
Tonight I'm going to bring you into the secret world of a fat person's mind. Now there are many people out there who get all upset with the term "fat", I'm not putting myself and my kind down, I'm merely stating a fact. Maybe I've become desensitized by it from so many years of strangers and not so strangers calling me names, but I'm not offended by the word fat. Anywho, this is a little insight into what we think about on a daily basis.......
I wake up and start thinking about what I'm going to eat today. It's not obsessive (yet), it's just a quick "what's for breakfast?" As I make my way downstairs I start to think in earnest what I'm going to eat (here's where it starts to get obsessive). I have my coffee and decide if it's going to be cereal, a weight loss shake or a bagel. Now starts the struggle between what I want and what I know is better. I start bargaining with my points in my head, calculating what I can have for the rest of the day. It starts to get hard because I can feel myself starting to slide back into old habits so then I get all Srgt. Strict with myself and remind me what my goal is.
Lunch is easy peasy because it's almost always a black bean burger, I'm SO addicted to those things I can eat them all day every day. Once lunch is packed it's done so I don't obsess about it as much plus my job is crazy busy so there's no time to think about it. BUT, I sit in the break room which is filled with people who bring in food from the amazing restaurants that surround my clinic. That's hard sometimes because it smells so good I always want to eat the good stuff. Luckily my desire to not spend money on lunch is way stronger than my desire to go out so I go about my business. Once lunch is over it's the biggest struggle of the day...the commute home.
Here's where it gets 12 step program real. I'm exhausted and HUNGRY, it's usually 6pm and I still have an hour commute home (give or take 20 min). So now the struggle is on, I try to have an apple or large cup of water to curb my appetite, but that's not always helpful. So now I'm seriously obesssssssing over food. I want to stop SO badly at some fast food place and sneak a fatty treat. I think about it the whole time. Some days I even get off the freeway with the intent to get something, then I'll talk myself down and get home without incident. But I still have to get the kids, who have already eaten so now it would be so easy to get something fast. Do I do it? I'm driving home with the kids and the whole time they're telling me their stories of the day I'm thinking, "should I just stop?" the temptation is so strong but I struggle through. Last Friday I succumbed to the temptation but one day out of three weeks isn't so bad. Before I started this I was stopping almost every night and feeling like crap about myself so I would shove food in my face since I didn't care. When I sit at home I'm always thinking about food, trying to be all casual about it but it's always on my mind. When we go out somewhere it's always a struggle not to stop and get a meal, I just try think about what I have at home and how quick it would be to make something. For example, I didn't get home until 8am tonight and I wanted to get some food so badly. I was so close and just resisted. Then I was going to just have cereal then I decided I deserved more so I made some steamed veggies and pasta. I know it was late and you shouldn't eat late but I would rather eat something healthy late than a fatty meal. I felt so great about myself :) Weekends are so hard, I think about food and struggle with food for 18 hours a day for two straight days. It's exhausting!
Why am I telling you all this? Because I think it's important for people to really understand what a struggle losing weight is for a fat person. It's hard for everyone, I know, but I think for a fat peson it's easier to convince yourself it's never going to work because you always go back to bad habits and it seems like such an endless, unreachable goal. It feels like I'm an alcoholic who's trying to stay sober. I know I have to change my ways and it's not just going to be with food, it has to be psychological too, otherwise it won't work. I also wanted you to read this so you can turn to the person in your life who you know has struggled with weight or even yourself and give yourself a serious pat on your back. No matter what you weight loss goal or history is you're fighting your worst enemy (yourself) to get to your goal. You don't need to feel shame for struggling with food, the more you embrace it the easier it is to give yourself a break for being an addict. I'm not saying it's OK for me to be this way so I don't have to even try, I'm just saying it's OK for me to struggle, I'm human and I'm doing my best. My name is Sabrina and I'm a food addict. I struggle every day to keep myself on the healthy path. Some days I slip up but I don't let that get me down. When I slip I don't spiral, I don't allow myself to feel shame, I take a deep breath and tell myself that I'm going to do better next time. Last Friday I only had a burger, I didn't do the whole meal, now that's a BIG deal for me. I still made my points work and I held my head high. Even though Weight Watchers makes changing easier, it's still a struggle every. single. day.
This time I really mean it.
xoxo
I wake up and start thinking about what I'm going to eat today. It's not obsessive (yet), it's just a quick "what's for breakfast?" As I make my way downstairs I start to think in earnest what I'm going to eat (here's where it starts to get obsessive). I have my coffee and decide if it's going to be cereal, a weight loss shake or a bagel. Now starts the struggle between what I want and what I know is better. I start bargaining with my points in my head, calculating what I can have for the rest of the day. It starts to get hard because I can feel myself starting to slide back into old habits so then I get all Srgt. Strict with myself and remind me what my goal is.
Lunch is easy peasy because it's almost always a black bean burger, I'm SO addicted to those things I can eat them all day every day. Once lunch is packed it's done so I don't obsess about it as much plus my job is crazy busy so there's no time to think about it. BUT, I sit in the break room which is filled with people who bring in food from the amazing restaurants that surround my clinic. That's hard sometimes because it smells so good I always want to eat the good stuff. Luckily my desire to not spend money on lunch is way stronger than my desire to go out so I go about my business. Once lunch is over it's the biggest struggle of the day...the commute home.
Here's where it gets 12 step program real. I'm exhausted and HUNGRY, it's usually 6pm and I still have an hour commute home (give or take 20 min). So now the struggle is on, I try to have an apple or large cup of water to curb my appetite, but that's not always helpful. So now I'm seriously obesssssssing over food. I want to stop SO badly at some fast food place and sneak a fatty treat. I think about it the whole time. Some days I even get off the freeway with the intent to get something, then I'll talk myself down and get home without incident. But I still have to get the kids, who have already eaten so now it would be so easy to get something fast. Do I do it? I'm driving home with the kids and the whole time they're telling me their stories of the day I'm thinking, "should I just stop?" the temptation is so strong but I struggle through. Last Friday I succumbed to the temptation but one day out of three weeks isn't so bad. Before I started this I was stopping almost every night and feeling like crap about myself so I would shove food in my face since I didn't care. When I sit at home I'm always thinking about food, trying to be all casual about it but it's always on my mind. When we go out somewhere it's always a struggle not to stop and get a meal, I just try think about what I have at home and how quick it would be to make something. For example, I didn't get home until 8am tonight and I wanted to get some food so badly. I was so close and just resisted. Then I was going to just have cereal then I decided I deserved more so I made some steamed veggies and pasta. I know it was late and you shouldn't eat late but I would rather eat something healthy late than a fatty meal. I felt so great about myself :) Weekends are so hard, I think about food and struggle with food for 18 hours a day for two straight days. It's exhausting!
Why am I telling you all this? Because I think it's important for people to really understand what a struggle losing weight is for a fat person. It's hard for everyone, I know, but I think for a fat peson it's easier to convince yourself it's never going to work because you always go back to bad habits and it seems like such an endless, unreachable goal. It feels like I'm an alcoholic who's trying to stay sober. I know I have to change my ways and it's not just going to be with food, it has to be psychological too, otherwise it won't work. I also wanted you to read this so you can turn to the person in your life who you know has struggled with weight or even yourself and give yourself a serious pat on your back. No matter what you weight loss goal or history is you're fighting your worst enemy (yourself) to get to your goal. You don't need to feel shame for struggling with food, the more you embrace it the easier it is to give yourself a break for being an addict. I'm not saying it's OK for me to be this way so I don't have to even try, I'm just saying it's OK for me to struggle, I'm human and I'm doing my best. My name is Sabrina and I'm a food addict. I struggle every day to keep myself on the healthy path. Some days I slip up but I don't let that get me down. When I slip I don't spiral, I don't allow myself to feel shame, I take a deep breath and tell myself that I'm going to do better next time. Last Friday I only had a burger, I didn't do the whole meal, now that's a BIG deal for me. I still made my points work and I held my head high. Even though Weight Watchers makes changing easier, it's still a struggle every. single. day.
This time I really mean it.
xoxo
Thursday, September 27, 2012
My big debut
Oh man you guys, this is the big test. I told my coworker Toni that I would meet her at LA Fitness on Saturday and take the aerobics class with her! I'm FREAKING out! I know you think I exaggerate how I look while working out, but that is one thing I don't do justice to. I'm being totally serious when I say that I turn bright red and start gasping for air like a fish on the floor. So I warned Toni that she might get a little embarrassed and I understand if she pretends she doesn't know me once I start my out of rhythm two stepping and flailing. I'm excited and full of dread at the same time. She even suggested we do Zumba together, but I'm afraid we all know what that means. I told her to slow down her horses, let's just get through this one class first before you decide you want to be seen exercising with me. So Toni told me the class starts at 8:45am (yes, I said AM!), and she told me to get there at 8:15 and we can run on the treadmill "for a minute". Um, pardon me, I'm not trying to be rude here, but is that not 30minutes? Hmmm? There's a big difference between "a minute" and 30 MINUTES! If I "run" for "a minute" I'm gonna be donezo, ready to be outsky if you know what I mean. For a fat person, or should I rephrase that to an actively shrinking person, 30 minutes of running is equivalent to a fit person climbing Mt. Everest. Are you picking up what I'm laying down? Give me "a minute" to get acclimated to an active lifestyle again woman! So my first exercise video shall be taped tomorrow night as I try to prepare for my big aerobics in public debut.
Now on to the exciting news.......after my first week on Weight Watchers I have lost 2 pounds (that's fully clothed w/shoes on too, so maybe it's more like 4pounds)! Yay me! I can only imagine how much faster it will come off once I'm exercising regularly. Woot, woot! I really must tell you that I'm enjoying Weight Watchers (no, they're not paying me to say that. In fact, I'm paying THEM!) it makes life a whole lot easier and I just keep a log of what I eat using their handy app! The only bad thing is I just found out that my beloved Coffee Mate Pumpkin Spice creamer has the same amount of points in 4 tablespoons as a bowl of cereal with milk! Psst, that's a lot for those of you not in the know, it's the same as my breakfast. I'm very sad but I have to switch to a less delicious flavor that's fat free and other healthier things. Cuz even thought I get a lot of points now, due to my weight, as I lose it I will get less points and I ain't wasting them on 4 measly tablespoons of creamer!
Alright, I'm gonna leave you with this one funny work story. Yesterday I was working with a resident who is a very young, very good looking boy (26 years old). My coworker roomed one of his patients and told him she was ready for him to go in the room. A few minutes later we hear him exclaim "Oh MY! Wow, um OK." as he entered the room then he closed the door. After 30 minutes in the room he came out and asked my coworker "Did you tell that woman to take her pants off?" my coworker said "Dude, no way, why would I tell her to do that?" then she said "wait, were her pants off?" He said yes, she was completely nude from the waist down. The funny part is that she was there for shortness of breath and heart palpitations, nothing that would require him to need to see her schmuzzie! She told the nurse that she thought the doctor was hot! Who does stuff like that?!
Have a great day/night/morning/whatever :)
xoxo
Now on to the exciting news.......after my first week on Weight Watchers I have lost 2 pounds (that's fully clothed w/shoes on too, so maybe it's more like 4pounds)! Yay me! I can only imagine how much faster it will come off once I'm exercising regularly. Woot, woot! I really must tell you that I'm enjoying Weight Watchers (no, they're not paying me to say that. In fact, I'm paying THEM!) it makes life a whole lot easier and I just keep a log of what I eat using their handy app! The only bad thing is I just found out that my beloved Coffee Mate Pumpkin Spice creamer has the same amount of points in 4 tablespoons as a bowl of cereal with milk! Psst, that's a lot for those of you not in the know, it's the same as my breakfast. I'm very sad but I have to switch to a less delicious flavor that's fat free and other healthier things. Cuz even thought I get a lot of points now, due to my weight, as I lose it I will get less points and I ain't wasting them on 4 measly tablespoons of creamer!
Alright, I'm gonna leave you with this one funny work story. Yesterday I was working with a resident who is a very young, very good looking boy (26 years old). My coworker roomed one of his patients and told him she was ready for him to go in the room. A few minutes later we hear him exclaim "Oh MY! Wow, um OK." as he entered the room then he closed the door. After 30 minutes in the room he came out and asked my coworker "Did you tell that woman to take her pants off?" my coworker said "Dude, no way, why would I tell her to do that?" then she said "wait, were her pants off?" He said yes, she was completely nude from the waist down. The funny part is that she was there for shortness of breath and heart palpitations, nothing that would require him to need to see her schmuzzie! She told the nurse that she thought the doctor was hot! Who does stuff like that?!
Have a great day/night/morning/whatever :)
xoxo
Tuesday, September 18, 2012
I'm not sure anyone reads these posts anymore,but I'm gonna keep on keeping on with the writing. So last week I did well with adding more activity to my lifestyle but didn't do the gym, I just can't drag myself out of bed at 5am when I don't even get to bed until 12 or 1! Next pay day I'll buy my way out of my contract and move to LA Fitness (pinkie promise). So as I was chugging along I realized that I need to be more aware of the food I'm eating. I totally noticed that I was finding more and more excuses to eat crap late since I don't get home until late and the kids have already had dinner at my parents. So I started a food diary. Now talk about a scary freakin' story! My food diary made me laugh, it made me cry, it had me on the edge of my seat (but not in a good way). Did I seriously eat a whole bag of rice puff chip things? YES! Just because they're "good for you" doesn't mean eating 10 servings is OK! ERMAGHERD, no WONDER I'm not losing any weight!!! I was eating so bad at night that I totally undid anything good I did during the day. And as long as I'm being honest here I may as well say that I even cheated on my diary. WHAT?! Who the flip and I cheating for? I'm the only one who's gonna read the damn thing and I'm trying to impress myself with how healthy I ate! I was blowing smoke up my own butt, how ridiculous is that? So I called in the big guns.....I joined Weight Watchers online. I'm doing it with a coworker (who is a major health Nazi). Toni (my coworker) is a cancer survivor who has lost a bunch of weight using weight watchers and she's definitely an inspiration. She works out in the morning and then again after work. So I've been a member for two days and this crazy woman is already giving me the mom eyes. This morning she said "So, did you do it? Hmmmm?" (she was asking if I joined the club) I said "I sure did!" and then she gave me those mom eyes that say "Aw hells no, I KNOW you're lying to me right now! What kind of fool do you think I am?" She had her head all tilted to one side, lips pursed, eyebrows raised trying to get me to admit I was lying. I said "YES! I totally joined!" and she said "Mmm hmmm". This all happened in the 30 seconds it took me to walk by her desk with a patient on my way to a room. So then I started justifying myself to the poor patient who was barely standing upright, shuffling along trying to make it to the scale. I was all "Jeesh, did you see that? She's trying to call me out! I joined Weight Watchers yesterday and she doesn't believe me!" The poor lady I was talking to was just looking at me and her daughter said "She can't hear you, and yes, by the way, I did see her giving you that face." THANK YOU! I knew it! So then I started muttering to myself that I'm a 41 year old woman, I don't need to answer to HER. Then I finished with my patient and immediately went to my desk, got my tablet and showed mommy, I mean Toni, my online account. This got a smile from her so I felt like I got my praise for the day. The awesome news is I used to do WW many moons ago and it totally worked, until I stopped and went back to my bad ways, but it came back to me so quickly how flipping easy it is. Especially now with everything being online. So after each meal/snack I just log it through my app on the tab and I'm done, no more adding stuff up on paper and figuring everything out manually, it's already in the system and if its not I can scan a bar-code on a package and find out the points, easy peasy.
So to recap my progress thus far, I have:
-Started drinking two glasses of water before each meal (getting plenty of water now!)
-Started drinking a glass of milk at night when I feel like a snack (curbs the cravings!)
-Started Weight Watchers and am keeping a food journal (lost weight from sobbing so hard reading the journal!)
-Continuously lied to you about working out more (not happy about that but I can change it!)
-Not lost more than 6 pounds, but am feeling very hopeful now! Plus, 6 pounds in a month and a half isn't shameful, it's around a pound a week. I'll get better.
OK, this is the end, but I was thinking about starting a photo timeline to go along with this. You know, along the line of the before an after Jenny Craig photos, but this would be a bi-weekly photo of my progress, or monthly, what do you think? No, you can open your eyes, I won't be in a sports bra and bike shorts!!!!! But it will have to be something kinda clingy I guess, even though I may die just having that documented in photos. I was also thinking if I post a weekly workout montage video of different at home workouts I do it might give you some entertainment and make me more accountable to work out. Let me know what you think.
xoxo
So to recap my progress thus far, I have:
-Started drinking two glasses of water before each meal (getting plenty of water now!)
-Started drinking a glass of milk at night when I feel like a snack (curbs the cravings!)
-Started Weight Watchers and am keeping a food journal (lost weight from sobbing so hard reading the journal!)
-Continuously lied to you about working out more (not happy about that but I can change it!)
-Not lost more than 6 pounds, but am feeling very hopeful now! Plus, 6 pounds in a month and a half isn't shameful, it's around a pound a week. I'll get better.
OK, this is the end, but I was thinking about starting a photo timeline to go along with this. You know, along the line of the before an after Jenny Craig photos, but this would be a bi-weekly photo of my progress, or monthly, what do you think? No, you can open your eyes, I won't be in a sports bra and bike shorts!!!!! But it will have to be something kinda clingy I guess, even though I may die just having that documented in photos. I was also thinking if I post a weekly workout montage video of different at home workouts I do it might give you some entertainment and make me more accountable to work out. Let me know what you think.
xoxo
Saturday, September 8, 2012
I am Nemo
OK, so I just have to share a story that is HORRIFYING and has nothing to do with the point of this blog, but I'm thinking that all the experiences I have in life make my successes or less than successes. So here it goes. * Insert wavy lines leading you back into my memory~then camera focuses clearly on this scene* Me, in a bathroom with an elderly woman (for this story we'll call her Beulah because I want to) in a wheel chair. Beulah cannot use the restroom by herself so I've offered to help a sista out. Memories of my short tenure at the nursing home came flooding back and it was so second nature I didn't bat an eye. I helped Beulah out of the chair and she was hovering over the toilet using both hands on the Ermagherd! bar to keep from toppling over which left me with only one thing to do.....I had to pull down her pants and brief (read adult diaper). At that precise angle and the juxtaposition of the toilet, the alignment of the freakin' planets and the proximity of my face to Beulah's well endowed backside, the most horrendous thing happened. Oh NO my friends, you think you know what happened, but you have no idea, I only WISH it was what you're thinking! The action of my pulling down the brief caused a HUGE cloud of butt powder to billow out of the brief and COVER MY FREAKIN HEAD AND ARMS!!!! Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuu! I wanted to freak out but I couldn't even react so I put Beula on the pot and told her I would be right back. I took that chance to go full Silkwood in the bathroom next door. When I looked in the mirror my face, hair and arms were covered in powder, BUTT powder!!! I scrubbed my face so hard with a towel my skin was all pink and shiny, my hair was wet and I just wanted to curl up in the corner and cry. I got Beulah all settled in her room and went back to the bullpen and told my story to my support group. One of the nurses jumped up and started doing a full disinfection, he was like Jacques the shrimp in Finding Nemo. As soon as Nurse Jacques was done with his cleaning I went right back to work and and within minutes found myself holding up a girl who had passed out after getting a shot. I was minding my own business when one of the other MA's yelled for me to help her. I went to the room she was in and she asked me to take a patient's blood pressure because the girl was feeling really woozy. While I was bent over putting the cuff on her arm she slumped onto me!! HUH? She was breathing and blinking but totally unresponsive. So I was left to hold the hold the girl up (she was in a chair) while the MA went to get a Dr.. Within minutes I found myself holding one of her legs elevated above her heart level (we laid her down) while the other MA held the other one and 3 doctors and 4 nurses tried to get this girl to come back from the depths of her mind. Talk about surreal! The fact that none of this made me once think that I hated my job made me really know that this is the right job for me.
Phew, that out of the way lets move on to what else is going on. Am I getting fatter? Seriously guys, I've cut my intake in half and the half I do eat is (mostly) healthy. I'm having the most bizarre experience in that my pants are getting bigger but my scrub tops seem to be getting tighter and those suckers don't shrink! What the hells? Although I do seem to be super bloated so maybe that's the prob. I don't know :( I have not weighed myself in about a month and I must admit that I feel better in terms of energy and pride for my family for being so awesome about the whole change. I wonder if my body is still in shock and is trying to hold on to the fat? It could also be that the change of jobs and all the stress that's followed could have stalled me because I definitely feel like the bloat has happened since I started the job. Can I just say that my first two weeks on the job have seriously felt like months? I was thrown into chaos and the woman training me went into labor on Tuesday so basically I had three days of training in the office and then was thrown to the wolves to sink or swim. Not to brag but I'm SOOOO thankful I learn quickly because I would seriously have followed my trainer to the hospital, pulled that baby out and forced her to come back to finish my training. Back to the point at hand: What can I do to stimulate my metabolism? I need to regroup and start next week off with a new POV, now that school is in full swing and I'm familiar with my (2hr) commute I can start getting to bed early and getting up in enough time to resume a daily workout. Did I mention that the people I work with are INSANE health nuts so they make it easier to keep on the straight and narrow.
Confession: So most of you know I'm a shameless lover of reality shows. Weeellll; I was watching Beverly Hills Nannies and they had a colonic. So I looked up the benefits and it sounded interesting and a good way to clean the pipes of the left over oogies. Not that I'm sayin' I'm gonna go get flushed, but I've been thinking about it. Does anyone have a "friend" who has tried it in the past? I'm not sure it's something I'd really be willing to try but it's a thought. Is that TMI? Um, hello? Have you met me? You know I calls 'em as I sees 'em. I'm not trying to tell you what you want to hear, I'm just keeping it real up in the feel aight?
Well folks, that's the summary of my week. Let me know if you have any ideas about metabo boost or tips on life in general.
xoxo
Phew, that out of the way lets move on to what else is going on. Am I getting fatter? Seriously guys, I've cut my intake in half and the half I do eat is (mostly) healthy. I'm having the most bizarre experience in that my pants are getting bigger but my scrub tops seem to be getting tighter and those suckers don't shrink! What the hells? Although I do seem to be super bloated so maybe that's the prob. I don't know :( I have not weighed myself in about a month and I must admit that I feel better in terms of energy and pride for my family for being so awesome about the whole change. I wonder if my body is still in shock and is trying to hold on to the fat? It could also be that the change of jobs and all the stress that's followed could have stalled me because I definitely feel like the bloat has happened since I started the job. Can I just say that my first two weeks on the job have seriously felt like months? I was thrown into chaos and the woman training me went into labor on Tuesday so basically I had three days of training in the office and then was thrown to the wolves to sink or swim. Not to brag but I'm SOOOO thankful I learn quickly because I would seriously have followed my trainer to the hospital, pulled that baby out and forced her to come back to finish my training. Back to the point at hand: What can I do to stimulate my metabolism? I need to regroup and start next week off with a new POV, now that school is in full swing and I'm familiar with my (2hr) commute I can start getting to bed early and getting up in enough time to resume a daily workout. Did I mention that the people I work with are INSANE health nuts so they make it easier to keep on the straight and narrow.
Confession: So most of you know I'm a shameless lover of reality shows. Weeellll; I was watching Beverly Hills Nannies and they had a colonic. So I looked up the benefits and it sounded interesting and a good way to clean the pipes of the left over oogies. Not that I'm sayin' I'm gonna go get flushed, but I've been thinking about it. Does anyone have a "friend" who has tried it in the past? I'm not sure it's something I'd really be willing to try but it's a thought. Is that TMI? Um, hello? Have you met me? You know I calls 'em as I sees 'em. I'm not trying to tell you what you want to hear, I'm just keeping it real up in the feel aight?
Well folks, that's the summary of my week. Let me know if you have any ideas about metabo boost or tips on life in general.
xoxo
Saturday, August 25, 2012
Here's what happening in my world
OK, so I've had the most stressful two weeks what with getting ready to leave my job and start a new one and all the guilt and nervousness and preparation that goes along with it. Anywho, all the stress triggered my old pal Bells Palsy to start rearing it's ugly head. Not only am I one of the lucky few to have extremely painful Palsy, it never really went away in the first place, my face has never felt the same since. So I've been downing steroids and antibiotics in the hope of stopping it from progressing to the point where half of my face falls again. Now I'm back to having heart palpitations due to the steroids and stress and I've been like a woman on crack who is rushing around a mile a minute because I'm so juiced up!! This morning I actually told Emma to take her herbal calming pills because I could feel that I was going to be a complete freak about cleaning the house today and she'd need them to stand being around me. The GOOD news is....my plan to drink water before every meal is working out great! I find that I eat around 60% less and all the water is working wonders on my skin. At first it was flushing out all the oogies so I was breaking out but now that it's been a while my skin is great and not dry anymore! So it's two great things in one. Another great tip is this: At night when I'm hungry and I REALLY want to eat something, I've been just having a glass of milk and it cuts those cravings. Since I'm not buying the sugary treats, I'm going to get some Ovaltine and that will be dessert. The kids are pitching in too. Kayleigh bought some red velvet pancake mix that was low in sugar and then she looked up a recipe for sugar free cream cheese frosting that I made and it was FABULOUS! I never thought they'd be so great with this decision! Last night Emma wanted a sloppy joe, so I found a healthy recipe and added lots of veggies. Mimi screamed for 30 minutes that she wouldn't even taste it, and when I told her there would be no other food for her until she at least tasted it, she tried it and ate two pita shells full! Things are looking up in the Lewis household, finally. Now I just have to re-boot my desire to work out. I've been soooooo lax lately, I just can't motivate myself to go to the gym. I walk more, take the stairs as much as possible and make little efforts here and there, but I just can't do the gym. I've been thinking of leaving curves and moving to LA Fitness (I'll get a discount through my new employer) and that way I can swim in the mornings and that might be the change I need. I just don't know, if any of you have any motivational tips I'm always open for suggestions. I think I just need to tough love myself and just make me to back to the open arms of the gym.
I'm hoping that once I've made the switch to the new job and I'm all settled I'll be back in the mindset to make exercise a priority. But until that time comes I'm going to continue on the path to eating better/less and moving forward one day at a time.
I'm hoping that once I've made the switch to the new job and I'm all settled I'll be back in the mindset to make exercise a priority. But until that time comes I'm going to continue on the path to eating better/less and moving forward one day at a time.
Thursday, August 16, 2012
Sabotage!
Sabotage is afoot at the Lewis house! OK, so I started writing a post that I thought was entertaining and clever, but apparently my computer got sick of my whining and shut down mid post for no reason at all. SOOOOO I'm gonna get real. I was going to blame my lack of will power for the sabotage that's occurring in my eating lifestyle, but who's really in charge of me? I AM!! Oh my GLOB, that means that I'm sabotaging myself! Who said my intermittent years in therapy didn't pay off? Even though I've been pretty good at making the right choices in what I eat, I still need to work on limiting the servings and also snacking late at night. I think I need to use the technique those super skinny, stick thin people use when they want to stop eating. They either pour water or salt on the food to make it unpalatable. But the poor FOOD, it doesn't deserve that kind of humiliation. Maybe I should adopt the boring food for survival only ideal. OK, that's not realistic. So I guess the only solution is to drink more, eat less (no Kim, I don't mean more alcohol!). If I drink two full glasses of water before each meal then I will eat less. This will be the first phase of my kick will power's butt plan. Phase two will be more of an alcoholics anonymous type of attitude of one day at a time. I start to look too far into the future instead of focusing on each day. I need to do the same for exercise because I've slacked off on that too (again).
All this is being written as I sit here with a belly ache from too many 5 guys fries. Just because I get a splurge once a week doesn't mean I need to gorge myself, right? Hells yes! So off to the backyard I go to watch the kids play in the hot tub while I moan with fullness. Tomorrow starts a new day of making good choices and drinking my way to a healthier me. Hahaha, that's the Lewis family motto!
xoxo
All this is being written as I sit here with a belly ache from too many 5 guys fries. Just because I get a splurge once a week doesn't mean I need to gorge myself, right? Hells yes! So off to the backyard I go to watch the kids play in the hot tub while I moan with fullness. Tomorrow starts a new day of making good choices and drinking my way to a healthier me. Hahaha, that's the Lewis family motto!
xoxo
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