So many things to tell you!

OK, OK, I'm a liar, I said this would be done a couple of days ago....sorry! I have so many things to touch on so I'm going to have to do it by category. I apologize that this will most likely be a LONG post, but it's making up for many weeks of silence. Now on to the many categories of stories!

MONEY:

Greg has been working his tail off to make ends meet and has been making a decent dent in the debt too, so kudos to Greg! But in true Murphy's Law style just when we seem to be getting ahead, something happens to knock us down a peg or two or 500! Our four year old Kenmore range decided to blow its brains out two weeks ago. I find it a little suspicious that it broke just two weeks after I got the phone call to extend our warranty on the range, and I said no. Anywho, not to disparage a large company such as Sears, but the guy came to "fix" it and told me that had I extended the warranty all of the repairs would have been covered, but since I didn't, it was going to cost $400 to fix it (that's including the $120 he charged me to tell me this). FABULOUS! So luckily there's this guy who is a friend of a friend of a friend (no, I swear he's not the one who went to Mexico and woke up missing a liver in a bathtub full of ice, we've all heard of THAT "friend of a friend..." this is a different friend) did you ever notice that friend is a very weird word when you type it a bunch of times? OK, so anywho, this friend is an appliance dealer to the builders and he's giving us a great deal on a new range, but it's still gonna cost us $485! Of course we don't have the cash (how sad) so we have to put it on credit. Don't get all huffy, have you ever tried to make dinner every night only using the stove? It's hard to come up with new items, my kids had chili dogs for the very first time on Saturday! Also, for those of you who haven't heard, I will be starting classes on Thursday (in two days!!!!) so that's another $700, it seems we're bleeding money these days! On the positive front, we've been sticking pretty well to a small budget, still saving many $$$'s on groceries and cooking @ home ( *sigh* we still have our weaknesses). So that's the money news for now, can you believe it's almost been a year already???? It's getting so commonplace to not buy non essential items that I keep thinking I've gone off the program, then I remember that it's just not as big a struggle anymore. I still have my desires for silly things like home decor stuff, but I'm working through it every day! Next year I'm gonna tighten the belt even more and see how THAT goes!

Ways that I'm the "Worstest mother EVER!":

That is Kayleigh's new favorite phrase of choice, I think it's kinda funny. Apparently I'm the "worsest mother EVER!" because I've stopped buying junk food and am making the kids eat healthy. This obviously means that I don't love my children. Emma hates me because I put antlers on the van and now we refer to it as "the Reindeer", as in "hop in the Reindeer, it's time to go to school". This is apparently the most horrible thing I could do to a middle schooler, except maybe she was pissed because as I drove away yesterday I honked the horn, rolled down the window and started yelling "Have a good day Emma, mommy loves you!!!" then I looked at a boy on the sidewalk and yelled "That's my baby Emma, do you know her?" Emma started running into the school at just that time as I drove away cackling like a the witch I am. Boy did that ever feel good, it was payback for her nasty attitude she's been sharing with me. I'm also a terrible mom because I've not only been making Emma's lunches every day, but I've been making her carry a *gasp* reusable lunch bag!!! I thing she said she "dies with embarrassment" at having to carry it and why can't she just buy lunch every day? WTF, when I was a kid I LOVED it when my mom made my lunches, it let me know that she cared enough to take the time to make them!!! I guess times have changed and I'm just cramping her style! So I've started putting embarrassing messages on her napkins in bright red permanent marker so she can't hide them. I tell her how precious she is and say hello to all the kids sitting with her. I think she's gotten smart and started pulling them out before we leave the house.
Mia thinks I suck because I won't let her eat all the Halloween candy, she gets two pieces a day and because of this I'm a "big stinky butt crack!" How the hell am I not supposed to laugh when she says that? Maybe I am a bad mom because I think it's funny when my 4 year old calls me names.
So those are just some of the ways I'm a bad mom!

Exercise:

OK Michelle, I know you've been wanting some more Sven stories and this is the best I can do.... I've been so stressed out lately (all that terrific parenting takes a toll!) and I finally gave into my body's demands to be set free at the gym. Now, Sven and I haven't seen each other since before my foot surgery in May; until two days ago (dum, dum, dummmmm). I walked into the gym with my head held high & marched over to the little lockers they have for your keys. Who should be by them but Sven! He looked at me like he kinda recognized me so I did the brave thing and ducked my head down and scurried up the stairs avoiding his gaze. Now this next part is something you're all going to have to take my word for as none of you, my gentle readers, is as robustly overweight as I myself am. No, no, don't start with the denials, I know what I am and that was not a self deprecating remark, just a set up for what is to come next (but thanks for your kinds words of encouragement). OK, now, when a large person walks into a gym there are two kinds of looks they get; the first is the quick glance and smirk as they swiftly look at their friend to see if they're in on the joke of a fat person coming in to "work out". The second look can only be described as the look you would give a one legged down syndrome person working like hell to finish a marathon. You would knit your brow, put on an encouraging smile while your eyes were saying "good for you, you special thing, you're so BRAVE". It's definitely not the same look you would give any other "normal" sized person walking into the gym. SO....as I scurried up the stairs I walked over to the bikes for my warm up while the men looked away quickly, as did some of the women and the other women gave me that oh so special "good for you" smile. I chose my bike and commenced pedaling as two of the very same "good for you" smilers chatted while using the elliptical machine (the bitches weren't even out of breath!). One of them was talking about her perfect family and how she's the perfect mom and is going to sew the perfect blankets for the needy or some BS like that. The other one was telling her perfect friend how she was going to sew the perfect bibs for needy baby's and how her perfect son was already so much more perfect that her friends little girl it's too bad she couldn't keep up. Then one of the perfect ladies started talking about her imperfect mother. She started dissing the way her mom dressed and the way her mom was losing weight (this is where it gets good). Apparently the mom was "starving" herself & not exercising to lose weight so she was still "really flabby all over!" There was a gasp as the perfect woman realized she said "flabby" in the presence of a fat person!! So she started stumbling over her words saying "I mean, good for her for losing weight, not that she wouldn't look OK without losing weight, I mean I just wish she would go to the gym, I think it's so GREAT (said very loud like) when people go to the gym,......." I was shaking with silent laughter because she was like a cornered animal and her friend was completely silent, obviously basking in her friend's imperfection. Then there was complete silence and they jumped off their machines with furtive glances my way and I just looked at them and gave them a HUGE smile that said I heard what they were talking about and they literally ran down the stairs. As perfect woman #1 left she looked back up at me and I waved and she looked down and walked out. The rest of my workout was uneventful, I just killed my Hamstrings and thighs and then walked out of there on rubbery legs. I have to go back today so I'm steeling myself for those special looks because apparently fat people are not normal, we need the same encouragement as Special Olympians. Think about this the next time you go to the gym people!

OK, I'm getting off my soap box now. I have to do the ballet run now so I'm going to strive to write another post very soon as I have so many more things to share. Have a super day!!! I'll talk at you soon.


xoxo