Hiya, this has to be fast, so I'll just lay it all out. I have two questions for you:
1.) Emma has a membership to StarDoll (an online cyber doll website) and it costs $5.99/month. I'm thinking that she doesn't NEED it, but is it cruel for me to just take it away? Do I make her pay for it with her own money that she gets for doing chores at Nonnie's and for her b-day and stuff? Am I just being picky because if I have to give up my favorite thing she should too? Help me out here folks, give me your feedback and point me in the right direction.
2.) Greg wanted to get a new uniform for work...his work provides perfectly good uniforms to him for free, but he wants one that his friend has that is a little sturdier. He has been working fine for 10 years in the uniforms that the county provides, but now he wants this "new and improved" model that costs $85. I said "Helicopter to the NO my friend!", but now I think, "am I being unreasonable?". I think it's a want, not a need, but does it count if it's for work? If not, then MY uniform for looking good taking the kids to dance class consists of a new designer purse, new shoes and a new hair color that makes my complexion glow.
See what I mean here? I think we are so caught up in THINKING that we NEED something that we don't really know what we do actually need, beyond the obvious. We're keeping the BlockBuster membership because we won't be doing movies at the theater, but if I'm being a stickler, is that truly a need (oh heck YES, my children drive me nuts so I need an escape!). I'm hoping that we start to be more realistic with our actual needs and stop trying to justify our wants into being needs. I don't want to take everything away so we're suffering, but I'm thinking that we can be more strick. I'm also thinking that I'll be doing at lot more drinking in this year that I have since college, but I have to be careful with the alcohol supply because that's a want, not a need. Well, I guess if I'm living up to the Lewis standards, the alcohol is actually a need. So if I show up on your doorstep in the early twilight with my handy dandy siver thermose, you know that as well as just wanting to see how you are, I'm hoping that you'll slip a little shot of something in my sad, non corporate chain coffee shop coffee.
On a parting note, today Kayleigh wanted to go to McDonalds after her swim lession. I told her we couldn't and her immediate response was "I HATE THIS FAMILY!" for some reason I don't think she's going to adjust very quickly. She has the same fast food addiction that Greg has, maybe I'll lock them in a room together and they can start their own support group. Apparently I suck and I'm trying to make my children poke their brains out (this is all according to Kayleigh). It's funny how she knows me so well after only six years, MUWAHAHAHAHAHAAA!
Oh Sister I feel so sorry for you. Your kids are ready to divorce you after less than a week! Okay - here is my two cents....
ReplyDeleteIf Emma truly values her web site membership she should be willing to pay for the fees out of her own money.
I use this pay-up technique with my boys and it is amazing how their "needs" change when they must belly-up-to-the-bar with their own money. This will also give Emma some understanding of the value of her web site membership. I think teaching our kids sacrafice is a good thing.
As you may have heard, we are taking a trip to Germany, Austria and Chekoslovakia this summer. We made our boys give up their Thanksgiving ski trip and their football season tickets. We also use this as a huge reason why we say "no" to just about anything they ask for. It has worked and they have adjusted...but, they are a bit older than Emma - and they know there is a reward in the end. It may be worthwhile creating a reward for your kids to get them engaged in this new lifestyle? Just a thought.
Regarding Greg's uniform...that is too tough of of situation. I think I am only qualified to give kid advise....husband advise scares me!
Love you Sister. Hang in there and stay tough.
Wendy
Sabrina,
ReplyDeleteI think this is great what you are doing. So many kids (including my own) believe that everything should be handed to them and they shouldn't have to work for anything. I have started having my kids earn half of all fieldtrips and outings that they do with girlscouts, church, ect. I think it is teaching them a wonderful lesson. Unfortunately my 12 yr old stepson has decided that maybe it isn't worth going then.
I totally agree with you that Emma should have to earn the money for her website. As for your husband's uniform....that is a tough one. Maybe you could agree to put aside so much from every time he works overtime towards the uniform. Or maybe he can find someone to do extra work for to earn the money (craigslist.org is a great place for finding people who need odd jobs done).
Good luck.
Stephanie (from girl scouts)
Sabrina,
ReplyDeleteI agree with the above comments about Emma needing to pay for the website herself, with that said as far as Greg's uniforms are concerned give me a break. The county provides his uniforms free of charge as I well know since I work for the same agency. He doesn't NEED to buy his own!!!! If the uniforms he has start wearing then he can request more like I do so we can stay fabulous looking........
Rebeccah