Reality check

I'm sorry I've been bombarding you with non finance oriented items from my life, I'm going to get back on track today, there is something I've been keeping from you. On Monday, after I had my hair buzzed, I was very distraught and I wasn't thinking clearly. I've been able to resist the urge to buy coffee after some very stressful times and I've resisted the very painful urge to buy household items that we do not NEED. However, after the hair fiasco I was weak, I wasn't in my right mind (whatever that means) and I gave in to temptation. On the way to bowling I told Greg to stop at Jack in the Box for a taco (I have no idea why I love those disgusting tacos so very much). Kayleigh couldn't wrap her little head around the idea that she was getting fast food, she kept saying "you mean I'm getting REAL chicken and French fries?" I've been giving her the home cooked kind and telling her it's the same, she knows it's not. Greg, Kayleigh and Mia were so excited and although I was the instigator, I felt pretty guilty for a minute or two. After I ate one taco my body was very angry with me so I put the other one on hold indefinitely. Anywho, anyone who has give in to temptation once can tell you that it's a slippery slope and so easy to tell yourself that you failed once so you may as well do it again. I've been fighting the urge so hard, I just want to get a coffee, I almost did it so many times in the last couple of days, I had money in hand and was on my way, but I fought myself off. My little devil keeps telling me, "you've had a really bad couple of days, you deserve the comfort coffee." but my angel keeps telling me, "don't do it, it's not worth it and it's not going to be so much better than what you make at home that it's worth giving in." The angel is right, but that devil is soooo convincing. I think I'm very much like any recovering addict, I really do have to take it one day at a time. If I look too far into the future it's easy to slip in the present. We're going to Spokane for Valentine's day (nothing is more romantic than mooching off your in laws. Kim L., you better make sure you have the flank steak marinade ready!) and that will be a big test of my willpower, it will be really easy to think that we're on vacation so I can buy coffee whenever I want it. The good news is that Pa Lewis is going to be riding our butts to make sure we're not spending a dime on things we should be getting (thanks Rich).

So the moral of the story is.... even though I can see the humor of our choice to be responsible for a year (hopefully longer), I have also discovered that I'm stronger than I thought and that I did indeed have a serious shopping/coffee addiction. The kids have adjusted so well, I thought it was going to be a fight to the death with them and Greg is go with the flow, even though he's fighting his own fast food demons. We've also spent more quality time with the kids sitting down together for dinner every day and playing games for entertainment instead of going to a movie or out to dinner or wasting money some other way. We're forming a plan to go to Hawaii for Christmas in 2010 which means that we will have to live this way for two years so we can pay cash for the trip. My sister Wendy was very correct when she told me that it makes things easier for the kids when you have a goal you're working toward, the kids are, at least Emma is, very excited at the prospect of Hawaii for a week so she's all for saving.

That's my reality check for today, I needed to clear the air and get back on track. My next entry will be humorous, I promise. Have a good day and try to save a dollar or two.