Feel my pain

Hi there! I'm sorry I've been so sporadic with the posts, sometimes you feel the funny and sometimes you don't, know what I mean? I've been feeling particularly non funny as of late, my foot is hurting all the time and it tends to make me a eeensy bit crabby (sorry I tried to break your toes so you could feel my pain last night Greg). For those of you who don't know my whole sordid foot history, I'll do a little blurb on it: It all started three years ago on Halloween... (fade out to me wearing a witch costume). My foot was hurting like a mofo and I didn't know what was wrong so I went to see a doctor about it. The doctor was dressed like a kitty cat and she was about 12 years old (it was literally Halloween) and I actually said "you're the cutest little doctor I've ever seen!", no, she was not a little person, she was just so young and cute I couldn't help it; I don't think she appreciated it very much. Anyway she gave me a cortisone shot in my big toe and sent me on my way. A year later my toe hurt again and this time I went to another doctor who actually explained that I have bursitis and a mild bunion. Fast forward another two years and now my big toe joint is totally disfigured, I can't wear regular shoes anymore, it's down to crocs or flip flops and it's rapidly getting to where I can only wear flip flops. I had to quit Bath and Body Works because I can't stand for long periods of time and working out with Sven is proving to be more and more painful. I went to a podiatrist and she said I have to have it surgicaly repaired, but it's considered an elective surgery, so I have to wait until sometime in the Spring at the earliest to get it done. Call me crazy (I know, I opened myself up for that one. When you're done yelling "you're CRAZY!" at your screen you may continue) but when a person can't wear shoes and has to quit their job because they can't stand or walk for large periods of time, shouldn't that be considered necessary surgery? I suppose I could opt to do nothing, that seems like a good choice and would vastly improve my quality of life, I mean, I could get a handicap sign by the time I'm 45! Hmmm, that's food for thought. Anyway, I usually try to pretend that it's not hurting because I firmly believe in mind over matter, but lately it's been killing me and here's the story of why it hurts: Last Monday it was my turn to stink up the bowling alley with my sucky bowling. I was angry from the hair fiasco and my shoes were hurting my foot so I took the shoe off in between my rolls. I was crying to my friends in the corner about my ghastly hair and I didn't notice Kyle's ginormous bowling bag at my feet (I know you rule at bowling Kyle, but do you REALLY need a bag that holds THREE balls?). I turned to take my leave and my wonky toe got caught in the edge of the bag, OOOOOWWWWWW!!!!!! My big toe is pointing firmly toward the little piggy and to gently straighten it to resemble a normal toe is very painful, but to have it wrenched into the forward pointing position is excruciating. I literally saw stars, but since we bowl on a church bowling league I thought it was best to refrain from using all the colorful swear words that were dancing on the edge of my tongue. I wanted to punch the face off of Kyle and throw my shoe at Greg (just because I can), but I didn't, I put the shoe on and quickly took my turn. Now my foot is swollen and throbbing all the time so I get to go back and beg for another cortisone shot. Lucky me.

So I normally go to see Sven on Mondays but today I can't see him. I have to make an appointment for Thursday, but I'm just not feeling it. I'll go this afternoon (I promise you guys, I'm already wearing my spandex. Hahahahaha, oh, that would be very scary huh? I'm just wearing work out gear). I was going to go this morning while Mia was in school, but she's sick (thank you Mia!) so I had to stay home (awwww, I'm very broken up about it). My doctor told me I should take some water aerobics to take some pressure off my foot, but I just don't know. I'm not embarrassed to be in a swimsuit (Sharon can attest to that since my big butt was jiggling all over Santa Cruz playing with the kids a few summers ago (sorry 'bout that Sharon, hope your cottage cheese and Jello phobia clear up soon!)) I just have a problem being the only under 60 person in the group. I feel like everyone is all, 'get your fat butt out of the water and do some real exercise', even though I know water aerobics is hard, I did it at the YMCA a few years back. I guess you can say that I'm a gym snob, I feel that the treadmill, circuit training machine people are better than the gray haired water dwellers. Anywho, today I'll take the walk of shame to the pool and sign up for the Tuesday and Thursday night classes. Maybe Millie and Ethel with become my BFF's and we can get a discount on our bunion surgeries!

I must take my leave now, it's quiet time and I have to catch up on my stories.