A gift of laughter for you, my loyal readers

I'm going to give you a gift today and it's a one time only gift that once it's written down on this blog it is dead to me and shall NEVER be spoken of again in my presence.

Today started off as many others have before it, I was most productive (but that shall be bragged about in a later post) and it seemed like a good start. I came home from dropping off Mia and Noah at school and shopping for tonight's meal (pulled pork if you really must know). Once I had my groceries in from the car I had to use the loo desperately. I barely got there with enough time to get me knickers down (I've been watching too much Peter Perfect, that's what's up with the English accent) when I noticed something horrible. Since my father in law is an avid blog reader I shall spare you all the gory details, but something happened to me that has happened to all women at one time or another. This incident caused me to have to abandon me dungarees and knickers in the laundry room and run half naked up the stairs. We have a door with a LARGE window in it. Are you picking up what I'm laying down here people????!!! Our front door (which is directly in front of the stairs) is half WINDOW!!! I was hustling up the stairs double time and at the top I glanced at the door because I had an odd feeling. Standing there, trying to poke his own eyes out, was a boy/man putting a flyer on my door knob. I don't remember exactly what I screamed, but it ended in a word that very closely rhymes with duck. This immediately brought me back to a conversation that I had with Rebecca when we got the door last year...."Aren't you uncomfortable with people being able to see into your house?" Rebecca asked, my reply was "Not really, it's not like I walk around naked or anything!" Fast forward to today and my words have come back to haunt me. The glass is leaded and decorative, but you can still see what's going on inside. So now I have to watch the news today to make sure that some high school drop out who was delivering flyers for Talay Thai restaurant doesn't commit suicide because his brain is forever burned with the image of my big white ass. Needless to say that although I find the humor in this, the humiliation is still to fresh at this point for me to want to speak of it out loud. I'm not even going to tell Greg about this, if he wants to hear about it he'll just have to read it like you all are. Don't speak of this to me, I will deny it ever happened and I'm going to drown my angst in coffee and girl scout cookies. After I'm done with my pitty fest I think I shall go to Target and buy some little cafe curtains with a magnetic rod to hang over the window, I do believe that it has become a NEED and not just a want. While I'm at it maybe I'll invest in some tanning cream for my butt just in case, if you know what I mean.

I hope you all pee your pants reading this, it's the least you can do for me.


xoxo