iPad

Apple unveiled the new iPad yesterday and I laughed my behind off. What sort of foolish man came up with the name iPad? I know it sounds like iPod, but it makes me think of feminine hygiene products. Why not iSlate? Or iTablet (we could call it iTab)? So thinking of feminine hygiene products made me want to fill you all in on my latest triumph. For the past year I've been buying super low grade feminine hygiene products that have been on sale so I've rarely paid more than $3/item. Of course when you buy cheap, you get what you pay for so I've been suffering with sub par products that are barely more useful than if I had just wadded up toilet paper and used that. SSSSOOOOOO, I was perusing our bank account the other day and noticed that while I've been sticking to my money saving ways and buying cheap products, GREG has been helping himself to coffee and fast food & snacks all willy nilly like!!!!! I lost my mind, called that poor sucker up and gave him an ear full. I told him that I will NO LONGER subject myself and Emma to using pads the thickness of Barbie Mattresses that were the only option in the 70's and tampons that are ridiculously non absorbent and painful to boot! If he thinks he's too good to stick to the budget then I'm too good to buy no name hygiene products! I marched over to Walgreens (well, I drove actually) and I bought one box of Tampax tampons and a bag of Always pads (iPad!). I almost choked when the bill came to $17 (so I added a small bag of Red Vines to the pile) but I proudly and defiantly paid the obscene amount of money for my gear. You must also keep in mind that I had not yet showered (after all, it was only 7:45pm) and I looked like a hot mess with wild eyes, but who's paying attention to that? I went home toting my victorious bag of loot and swung it over my head while letting out a war cry of "CHECK THIS OUT SUCKAH!" Greg tried to explain away his cheating ways with a little "so I got coffee a couple times!" Poor fool, had he learned nothing from living with me over the years? NEVER mess with me while I'm in PMS mode. I narrowed my eyes, bared my teeth and spat out words so terrible that they shant be repeated here. When I have PMS I love nothing more than reducing some poor, unsuspecting fool to tears with my words. Whomever happens to be near me will do, and lucky for Greg, he was it. He took it like a man while I gave him my best meana Bina speech.
So later, after I regained my composure I apologized and told him that I was truly pissed about him spending money willy nilly, but I didn't warrant my mean rant. He forgave me and moved on. This morning I treated myself and Mia to coffee, heehehhe.

So now you all know that iPad and iTampon too! Have a great day.

xoxoxo