I would like to lead you all on a little trip through my mind. These are the things I'm thinking that I would normally not let anyone know, but for you I shall share my musings.....Today I changed into my workout gear after work and set off to the gym. As I was gently floating up the stairs I though how I was the very epitome of workout chick. I had on a pair of four year old Adidas capri workout pants, a lovely purple t-shirt and my funky fresh kicks (aka double wide sneakers from the specialty store thanks to my foot becoming roughly the size of frying pan from my bunion surgery). Yes, I know my outfit doesn't sound wonderful but you must remember that I'm not thinking literally, I'm thinking in my wonderful rose colored mind. OK, so I was flitting up the stairs like a ninja cat when I hear some poor soul clomping like a stallion in the stairwell. I peeked around but alas it was only me in the stairwell, but I KNOW it was not I who was making that horrid sound as I previously told you I was flitting. I got to Curves and proceeded to do my first circuit. For those of you who don't know about Curves, it's an all woman circuit workout place where you do a combo of cardio and strength/resistance training to the melodious sound of wildly sped up dance music. You have not lived until you've heard Billy Joel House Music style! I was halfway throug my first circuit and thinking about how awesome I am that I'd gone to the gym for three straight days. If I didn't watch out I might just become addicted to working out and that would be dangerous. I felt sorry for those poor people who don't have any will power because, clearly, with my three whole days I'm far superior to them. As I worked my way around the room I was daydreaming of having a body like some sort of beach volleyball player and thought 'surely I must be close to that now.' Even though I have never been thin in my life, I'm fairly certain that my body will just transform so easily. I should be 60 pounds lighter in just a few short months.  I started noticing that the other women in the room (all about 15-20 yrs older than me) kept looking at me. I was thinking how sad it was that those women were so in awe of my greatness that they couldn't focus on their own workout. In my minds eye I could see myself looking like a plus sized fitness model. I had my shiznat together and I was WORKING it. When it was time for me to jog in place I wasn't satisfied with just jogging, girlfriend was doing sumo squats and the twist and Rockettes worthy kicks. Hells YES I was feeling the pounding pulse of the music (my fave this day was All outta Love by Air Supply sped up 50 times). I was feeling the power of my moves and loved that the ladies were beholding the sight that was ME. I decided to take my pulse., it was 24 which according to the poster is in the cardio zone for my age (in real numbers that made my pulse a whoping 144bpm). Woot, woot, I'm on a roll! I was thinking that I looked fierce. I ignored the ladies looks of obvious jealousy and was contemplating trying Zoomba one more time because surely that last time was just a fluke. I mean, who can be as passionate as me and not have one ounce of rhythm and knock people over, it must have been a bad day right? Maybe punching myself in the face while doing uppercuts during TaeBo was just a fluke too, but I'm not really willing to test that again, I messed myself UP. All this thinking was making me parched and for some reason I was having difficulty breathing, must have been my allergies. So I stopped to get a drink of water and use the bathroom. When I turned the light on in the bathroom I was greeted by a sight worse than a super sized woman in skinny jeans. My face was red, I'm talking tomato red, my hair was standing straight up in places, drenched in sweat and I was gasping for air like a fish out of water. WTF? This is not what I saw in my mind! I had no clue this is what was happening to me as Curves is kind enough to not have mirrors anywhere in the workout area. No wonder those women kept staring, I looked like I was going to keel over at any minute. I then remembered what I'd been doing for the last 30 minutes jumping up and down and acting a fool. Damn that Carly simon dance mix of You're So Vain, why do you have to be so intoxicating? Then they played I Love You Like a Love Song by Selena Gomez and it was all over, how do I NOT do jumping jacks to that? Screw it, it's my body and I'll shake it like a bowl full of jelly if I want to. I gave those women the show of their lives and I loved every minute of it. Of course this means that I can no longer show my face in the evening there anymore out of pure embarassment, so I guess I'll go back to my regular time of 5:30 am. It was fun as to let loose and even funnier when all conversation ceased and people were trying not to look at me, but I liked it. Sometimes I feel like I have to get the crazy out and it's best to be around strangers when it happens so your friends won't remind you how embarrassing it was, but I brought you with me this time. Then I took Kayleigh to Taekwondo, came home, made a super healthy dinner and diabetic friendly cookies. Now I'm doing laundry in an attempt to have every single stitch of clothing in our house clean, minus what we're wearing, by the weekend. It's time to attempt the organization portion of my anxiety control. I shook it like a bartender making a martini and now I feel energized. Watch out world, according to my twisted way of thinking I should be ready to zipline in a matter of months.