Here's what happening in my world

OK, so I've had the most stressful two weeks what with getting ready to leave my job and start a new one and all the guilt and nervousness and preparation that goes along with it. Anywho, all the stress triggered my old pal Bells Palsy to start rearing it's ugly head. Not only am I one of the lucky few to have extremely painful Palsy, it never really went away in the first place, my face has never felt the same since. So I've been downing steroids and antibiotics in the hope of stopping it from progressing to the point where half of my face falls again. Now I'm back to having heart palpitations due to the steroids and stress and I've been like a woman on crack who is rushing around a mile a minute because I'm so juiced up!! This morning I actually told Emma to take her herbal calming pills because I could feel that I was going to be a complete freak about cleaning the house today and she'd need them to stand being around me. The GOOD news is....my plan to drink water before every meal is working out great! I find that I eat around 60% less and all the water is working wonders on my skin. At first it was flushing out all the oogies so I was breaking out but now that it's been a while my skin is great and not dry anymore! So it's two great things in one. Another great tip is this: At night when I'm hungry and I REALLY want to eat something, I've been just having a glass of milk and it cuts those cravings. Since I'm not buying the sugary treats, I'm going to get some Ovaltine and that will be dessert. The kids are pitching in too. Kayleigh bought some red velvet pancake mix that was low in sugar and then she looked up a recipe for sugar free cream cheese frosting that I made and it was FABULOUS! I never thought they'd be so great with this decision! Last night Emma wanted a sloppy joe, so I found a healthy recipe and added lots of veggies. Mimi screamed for 30 minutes that she wouldn't even taste it, and when I told her there would be no other food for her until she at least tasted it, she tried it and ate two pita shells full! Things are looking up in the Lewis household, finally. Now I just have to re-boot my desire to work out. I've been soooooo lax lately, I just can't motivate myself to go to the gym. I walk more, take the stairs as much as possible and make little efforts here and there, but I just can't do the gym. I've been thinking of leaving curves and moving to LA Fitness (I'll get a discount through my new employer) and that way I can swim in the mornings and that might be the change I need. I just don't know, if any of you have any motivational tips I'm always open for suggestions. I think I just need to tough love myself and just make me to back to the open arms of the gym.
I'm hoping that once I've made the switch to the new job and I'm all settled I'll be back in the mindset to make exercise a priority. But until that time comes I'm going to continue on the path to eating better/less and  moving forward one day at a time.

Sabotage!

Sabotage is afoot at the Lewis house! OK, so I started writing a post that I thought was entertaining and clever, but apparently my computer got sick of my whining and shut down mid post for no reason at all. SOOOOO I'm gonna get real. I was going to blame my lack of will power for the sabotage that's occurring in my eating lifestyle, but who's really in charge of me? I AM!! Oh my GLOB, that means that I'm sabotaging myself! Who said my intermittent years in therapy didn't pay off? Even though I've been pretty good at making the right choices in what I eat, I still need to work on limiting the servings and also snacking late at night. I think I need to use the technique those super skinny, stick thin people use when they want to stop eating. They either pour water or salt on the food to make it unpalatable. But the poor FOOD, it doesn't deserve that kind of humiliation. Maybe I should adopt the boring food for survival only ideal. OK, that's not realistic. So I guess the only solution is to drink more, eat less (no Kim, I don't mean more alcohol!). If I drink two full glasses of water before each meal then I will eat less. This will be the first phase of my kick will power's butt plan. Phase two will be more of an alcoholics anonymous type of attitude of one day at a time. I start to look too far into the future instead of focusing on each day. I need to do the same for exercise because I've slacked off on that too (again).
All this is being written as I sit here with a belly ache from too many 5 guys fries. Just because I get a splurge once a week doesn't mean I need to gorge myself, right? Hells yes! So off to the backyard I go to watch the kids play in the hot tub while I moan with fullness. Tomorrow starts a new day of making good choices and drinking my way to a healthier me. Hahaha, that's the Lewis family motto!

xoxo

Ode to Sugar

Oh sugar my sweet, the times we shared were far too many and decadent. I have been reminiscing of the many ways you've tempted me over the years. Calling to me in the form of cakes, cookies, chocolate, the list goes on. Your tiny little grains of tantalizing sweetness, your sneaky way of making sure you're always on my mind. You've made me want you, crave you, obsessively seek you out, even going so far as eating slightly sweet, mostly bitter baking chocolate when you were playing coy and not stocked in my cabinets in any other form. Our breakup has been bittersweet but I know it's for the best. Now that we've had some time apart I realize the abusive relationship we had. You were trying to kill me with your sweetness, working your way into my very being. Making me euphoric and exhausted, up and down, cranky and happy.  I know we had great times but it's over now honey. I'll always carry your memory with me (in the form of a very lumpy and large ass). As they say, parting is such sweet sorrow but we'll always have elephant ears. I tried to enjoy a delicious, overly sweet birthday treat and that's when I realized how toxic you are for me. I no longer enjoy the sticky, gooey, sugar laden treats, my body rejects you and I hope to never experience the stomach ace of doom that almost destroyed the Toys R Us bathroom. Few things are as humiliating as turning circles in a Toys R Us bathroom stall while praying you don't explode out the back while you puke (sorry for the over-share).

I'm hoping that some day I'll be able to write and ode to fatty foods.Those tasty foods that make my former gall bladder roll over in it's over sized, gluttonous grave.

My mind is becoming clearer, less caffeine, less sugar, less food driven cravings and sometimes even the DESIRE to exercise! Who woulda thunk it? Plus, the energy to finally get our garage cleaned out. After 9 years of talking about it, it's finally done!! Greg starts brewing beer next weekend and I'll be in the back playing tether-ball. Hells yes, it's a slow process, but I'm really doing it Virginia!!!

xoxo

Confession time

OK, so it's Sunday and I thought it would be a great time for me to confess my sins. It has been a week since I last went to the gym. I was so embarrassed by my last visit when I went a little overboard that I thought I'd give them time to get over my foolishness. I've been lying to myself saying that I've done so much moving of furniture and work getting ready for this garage sale that I was doing OK, but we all know that's just not true. So 8:00am tomorrow morning I'll be at the gym with my head hanging low and not meeting anyone's eyes.  I also need to confess my sinfulness in the joy I felt sticking the ice cream man with a dog pee covered costume. He stopped to entice my kids into buying an ice cream and his wife hopped out and started eying Mimi's old dance recital costumes. I had them marked as $5/ea which I though was fair considering I paid $150/each and they were worn for all of 1hr. When Mrs. Ice cream man brought them to the table I told her it would be $10 and she just stood there. Mr. Ice cream man got out of the van (yes, our ice cream "truck" is a minivan) and came over (after selling my kids outrageously priced popsicles) and told me he would pay $2 total, I said no way, he then offered $3 and I told him it would have to be $3/each. He made a face of disgust and told me he would throw in ice cream for the kids. I said "My kids already bought ice cream from you and THAT cost more than $3!" then my little Mimi came up and said "OK, how 'bout you pay $5 for both?" he accepted that deal and paid up. Then I realized they had taken the costume that Benny the dog had peed on and it was still stinky. Muwahahahaha, I'm an evil villain. Oops, I meant to say I feel shame and will offer to clean the outfit when I next see Mr. Ice Cream man. Lies, I'm telling lies again, I think it's funny and will always cherish that memory. At least on that deal we both got screwed, right?

So I got the results of my blood work up the Dr. did when I thought I was dying and I'm very, very sad and humbled to tell you the news. My thyroid? She is in fine working order. I was PISSSSSSED, I thought I could at least have SOME excuse as to my weight issues and now I know without a doubt that I am the sole responsible party for being fat. *sigh* I guess I always knew this, it's just nice to have the very slim possibility of a tragic health issue to give you hope. Oh well, I guess it's back to the grind stone of losing weight the old fashioned way (saving money for liposuction!). Diet and exercise are so trite, but effective so back on the wagon I go.

As I pack up the garage sale and cart all the left over stuff to Good Will and local shelters I will be shedding the house's extra baggage and clutter which will set us free and make us feel lighter (at least that's what the internet told me). I'm so looking forward to having a mostly clutter free home, it makes me feeling more energized just think about it. Woot, woot for a streamlined life! I must now go and try to dig deep into my soul and find the guilt and sorrow I feel for the whole Ice Cream man situation.

TTFN

The war on sweets

OK, so it's been almost a week since the change and so far so good. The best part is that the kids are totally on board for the life change. I don't remember if I already told y'all this next part, and I'm too lazy to check so I'll just do a quick recap... Greg is Diabetic and that makes the kids at higher risk for getting Diabetes in the future AND I am no Slim Sally myself which puts me at higher risk too, so I have decided we will all be adopting a low glycemic lifestyle. I tossed the big jug-o-Redvines (sniff,sniff), threw out the fruit snacks and all other high sugar items I could find. Of course one day after this started Kayleigh came home from a sleep over with a bag of caramel/chocolate cookies and a handful of fortune cookies! So I had to sneakily make those disappear too. I told the kids what was going on and how it was going to be hard at first but we would adjust pretty quickly. Since Greg has been Diabetic for seven years now we already mostly bought sugar free stuff but the big diff now is that I'm trying to move away from the chemically produced sugar free stuff and go for the naturally low glycemic sugar products. OK, so we've got me cutting my caffeine intake, exercising and now going super low sugar. Yes, you guessed it, I'm a joy to be around. Actually it hasn't been as bad as I thought it would be. I've been baking cookies using Xyletol and splenda brown sugar so we'll have some good sweets to ease our sweet tooth which are DELICIOUS. The kids haven't complained about the lack of fast food yet, but I'm waiting for that fight soon. I think the only thing bugging the kids right now is that they're limited to two cookies per day. I definitely have more energy, woot woot. So that just leave our lack of organization.

Holy crap do we have a butt load of stuff! I spent four hours with Emma last night going through the girls clothes, trying to thin out their gluttonous wardrobes. We started with K-Ry's room and realized that she doesn't have many clothes, it's mostly pajamas. She always has been our little Hugh Hefner, living in jammies. So with her room done we went into Emma and Mimi's room and that's when hell began. Their closet was over flowing (it seriously looked like it was puking clothes), there were two basket of clean clothes waiting to be put away and more piles of clean clothes on the dresser and desk! Remember last time when I said I would have all our laundry clean by the weekend? I succeeded and I didn't realize that we have enough clothes to start and FILL our own second hand store! So we started with Mimi's stuff and filled one garbage bag with clothes to get rid off, then we moved on to Emma's and she filled one and a half garbage bags and we're not even done!!! I'm scared to go through the dresser that has drawers that don't close. I barely escaped with my sanity last night and got out of it tonight by telling Emma I needed time to fill out a dozen job applications so she left me alone. But alas since my big garage sale is happening this weekend I need to finish the room so I can add to my bounty and reap more money toward my momarazzi camera. So far I have a couch, recliner, sofa table, computer, desk, baby table,  and a full year's worth of clothes for a 14 year old and 6 year old!!! All this along with a garage full of treasures that will be gone by the end of the weekend if I have to start a bonfire mountain on my driveway! I should make my money in no time. Not to mention the fact that Greg will be adding stuff to the sale at his own discretion, he can get rid of whatever he wants! I'm hoping to have my most successful garage sale EVER!!! If you live in town and want to add your crap to mine feel free, I won't even take a cut.

Anywho, sorry the post isn't exciting, I'm just keeping it real today. Wish me many lucks on the job apps, I seriously need a break.

I would like to lead you all on a little trip through my mind. These are the things I'm thinking that I would normally not let anyone know, but for you I shall share my musings.....Today I changed into my workout gear after work and set off to the gym. As I was gently floating up the stairs I though how I was the very epitome of workout chick. I had on a pair of four year old Adidas capri workout pants, a lovely purple t-shirt and my funky fresh kicks (aka double wide sneakers from the specialty store thanks to my foot becoming roughly the size of frying pan from my bunion surgery). Yes, I know my outfit doesn't sound wonderful but you must remember that I'm not thinking literally, I'm thinking in my wonderful rose colored mind. OK, so I was flitting up the stairs like a ninja cat when I hear some poor soul clomping like a stallion in the stairwell. I peeked around but alas it was only me in the stairwell, but I KNOW it was not I who was making that horrid sound as I previously told you I was flitting. I got to Curves and proceeded to do my first circuit. For those of you who don't know about Curves, it's an all woman circuit workout place where you do a combo of cardio and strength/resistance training to the melodious sound of wildly sped up dance music. You have not lived until you've heard Billy Joel House Music style! I was halfway throug my first circuit and thinking about how awesome I am that I'd gone to the gym for three straight days. If I didn't watch out I might just become addicted to working out and that would be dangerous. I felt sorry for those poor people who don't have any will power because, clearly, with my three whole days I'm far superior to them. As I worked my way around the room I was daydreaming of having a body like some sort of beach volleyball player and thought 'surely I must be close to that now.' Even though I have never been thin in my life, I'm fairly certain that my body will just transform so easily. I should be 60 pounds lighter in just a few short months.  I started noticing that the other women in the room (all about 15-20 yrs older than me) kept looking at me. I was thinking how sad it was that those women were so in awe of my greatness that they couldn't focus on their own workout. In my minds eye I could see myself looking like a plus sized fitness model. I had my shiznat together and I was WORKING it. When it was time for me to jog in place I wasn't satisfied with just jogging, girlfriend was doing sumo squats and the twist and Rockettes worthy kicks. Hells YES I was feeling the pounding pulse of the music (my fave this day was All outta Love by Air Supply sped up 50 times). I was feeling the power of my moves and loved that the ladies were beholding the sight that was ME. I decided to take my pulse., it was 24 which according to the poster is in the cardio zone for my age (in real numbers that made my pulse a whoping 144bpm). Woot, woot, I'm on a roll! I was thinking that I looked fierce. I ignored the ladies looks of obvious jealousy and was contemplating trying Zoomba one more time because surely that last time was just a fluke. I mean, who can be as passionate as me and not have one ounce of rhythm and knock people over, it must have been a bad day right? Maybe punching myself in the face while doing uppercuts during TaeBo was just a fluke too, but I'm not really willing to test that again, I messed myself UP. All this thinking was making me parched and for some reason I was having difficulty breathing, must have been my allergies. So I stopped to get a drink of water and use the bathroom. When I turned the light on in the bathroom I was greeted by a sight worse than a super sized woman in skinny jeans. My face was red, I'm talking tomato red, my hair was standing straight up in places, drenched in sweat and I was gasping for air like a fish out of water. WTF? This is not what I saw in my mind! I had no clue this is what was happening to me as Curves is kind enough to not have mirrors anywhere in the workout area. No wonder those women kept staring, I looked like I was going to keel over at any minute. I then remembered what I'd been doing for the last 30 minutes jumping up and down and acting a fool. Damn that Carly simon dance mix of You're So Vain, why do you have to be so intoxicating? Then they played I Love You Like a Love Song by Selena Gomez and it was all over, how do I NOT do jumping jacks to that? Screw it, it's my body and I'll shake it like a bowl full of jelly if I want to. I gave those women the show of their lives and I loved every minute of it. Of course this means that I can no longer show my face in the evening there anymore out of pure embarassment, so I guess I'll go back to my regular time of 5:30 am. It was fun as to let loose and even funnier when all conversation ceased and people were trying not to look at me, but I liked it. Sometimes I feel like I have to get the crazy out and it's best to be around strangers when it happens so your friends won't remind you how embarrassing it was, but I brought you with me this time. Then I took Kayleigh to Taekwondo, came home, made a super healthy dinner and diabetic friendly cookies. Now I'm doing laundry in an attempt to have every single stitch of clothing in our house clean, minus what we're wearing, by the weekend. It's time to attempt the organization portion of my anxiety control. I shook it like a bartender making a martini and now I feel energized. Watch out world, according to my twisted way of thinking I should be ready to zipline in a matter of months.

I'm baaaack!! Hello Friends!!

To those of you who were loyal followers of my previous blog about saving money, you already know my writing style, to those of you who are new I hope you appreciate my extreme honesty, even if it is embarrassing at times. OK, here's the long and short of it. Over the last month and a half I've been having issues with my heart feeling like it's going to explode. So after really keeping track of when my heart is fluttering and a little visit to the Dr., it was decided that I'm under a tremendous amount of stress and it's anxiety that's causing the problem. So needless to say this scared the poop out of me (not very helpful with the anxiety!) and I've decided that I'm tired of being unhealthy and I'm declaring war on fat! Before all this trouble started I was going to Curves every morning at 5:30am, but stopped going when I was sure I might just keel over. Now my goal is to go back to Curves and get my butt in gear. It's too bad I didn't start this blog months ago because I have some very hi-larious stories of my deciding that I was going to dance the weight off and also Tae Bo the weight off and yoga the weight off, etc, etc, ect... Are you seeing a pattern here? Anywho this is the beginning of our journey together. I've already started back at the gym and am feeling much more energized. Oh, did I forget to mention that the Dr. said I should look for ways to lessen my stress like getting organized? After I stopped laughing she said she was serious, that being disorganized can cause more stress. Obviously this woman doesn't know me, organization and I don't really see eye to eye. Organization tells me to put things in their place and make schedules and I tell organization to suck eggs while I frantically search for matching socks and make the kids lunches 5 minutes before we have to leave the house. If anyone has tips for easy organization I'm open for advice. Now that you know the skinny on what the blog is about we shall begin the newest Lewis Insanity Experiment Extreme Loser Style. As always, encouraging comments and calling me out on any BS you may see in the way of excuses and general lack of motivation are always welcome. Here we go....

P.S. if anyone knows how I can put my previous blog posts in archives I would appreciate the help.

xoxo